How did he get my shirt?

Check out the guy on Dave's right. What's that all about. Give it back

Its burning me up

Would it be all right some day

I am still alive

Maybe it is time to be a highwayman again

For a little girl and her daddy

They are always there even when you can't see them.

Beauty and the Beast

Can I be your beast.

Not all Chestnut Mares are horses

Once in a while, if you are very lucky, very lucky, you will chase a Chestnut Mare and finally catch her. This is when you realize that not all Chestnut Mares are horses and some Chestnut is auburn.

Chestnut Mare


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Let's say I break into your house...

A lady wrote the best letter in the Editorials in ages!! It explains things better than all the baloney you hear on TV.

Recently large demonstrations have taken place across the country protesting the fact that Congress is finally

addressing the issue of illegal immigration. Certain people are angry that the US might protect its own borders, might make it harder to sneak into this country and, once here, to stay indefinitely.

Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these protests.

Let's say I break into your house. Let's say that when you discover me in your house, you insist that I leave. But I say, "I've made all the beds and washed the dishes and did the laundry and swept the floors; I've done all the things you don't like to do. I'm hard-working and honest (except for

when I broke into your house).

According to the protesters, not only must you let me stay, you must add me to your family's insurance plan, educate my kids, and provide other benefits to me and to my family (my husband will do your yard work because he too is hard-working and honest, except for that breaking in part).

If you try to call the police or force me out, I will call my friends who will picket your house carrying signs that proclaim my right to be there.

It's only fair, after all, because you have a nicer house than I do, and I'm just trying to better myself. I'm hard-working and honest, um, except for well, you know.

And what a deal it is for me!! I live in your house, contributing only a fraction of the cost of my keep, and there is nothing you can do about it&nb sp;without being accused of selfishness, prejudice and being an anti-housebreaker. Oh yeah, and I want you to learn my language so you can communicate with me.

Why can't people see how ridiculous this is?!

Only in America ....if you agree, pass it on (in English). Share it if you see the value of it as a good simile. If not blow it off along with your future Social Security funds.

But do you listen

Recently a high school science teacher gave new invigorated meaning to the term brain dead. Now readers to these pages know I don’t hold teachers on the high pedestal that some do, especially in the public education arena. They seem to have an uncanny knack for filling your child’s head with crap. There are also a lot of parents out there that delight in giving the teachers the shovels.

In Virginia high-school science teacher was charged with breaking into a century-old funeral vault where 114 miners lost their lives, handling the remains of a corpse, and taking photographs of two students holding the bones inside the crypt. This just begs the question, “Mommy can I go with our teacher and dig around in an old crypt? Everyone else is doing it.”

Candace Longworth a 31 year old biology teacher, was charged with disturbing and defiling a dead person from a place of burial and two misdemeanor counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor. She was also charged with being completely brain dead; charges against the parents of the kids are pending the outcome of an IQ test. In defense of the parents, it must be stated that the kids probably told them they were going to a rib joint for some BBQ.

Candace or Candy Bones as she is affectionately known allowed at least one of the two teenage girls to hold the bones of a corpse found within the 122-year-old vault. A lawyer for Tazwell County was quoted as saying, the foray into the tomb was "just bizarre," and "not anything anyone would call school-related." I must disagree. It seems very appropriate given the nature of today’s public education. At least she didn’t have sex with the kids as far as I can tell.

The teens were charged as juveniles or being juveniles, it is hard to determine at this point. According to the report, the vault is partially below the surface in a cemetery built for 114 coal miners who died during an 1884 coalmine explosion in the town of Pocahontas.

See, if we would just increase taxes and get these schools more money they could buy their own bones and would not have to sneak into vaults to supplement their school supplies. This sounds like a teacher doing what so many are forced to do because of the lack of a good supply of bones.

Candy Bones was apparently also a cheerleading coach when she wasn’t rummaging around looking for some good ribs. She lost that job too. Give me an A, give me a S, give me another S. What’s that spell? Ass --- hole.

As a postscript, there is no truth to the rumor that she loaned her brain to John Kerry. At the time of this report, he is still without one if anyone would like to donate.

A real YAHOO.

Thank you. If you have come here than you know that some idiot submitted numerous violations for questions I answered on Yahoo answers several months ago. I am in the middle of arguing with customer service whom I believe can't read, so I am not certain what the outcome of being reinstated will be. I will continue to annoy customer service as is my nature and in the meantime I will place posts here and update my friend's list to make it easier for you to return to 360 after visiting.

I will begin annoying people again momentarily

BBQ Ribs Anyone

Headline news: Al Gore flies in to Australia to warn about global warming and Victoria gets snow in November.

So Mr. Alarmist continued with his supernatural ability to immediately cool down any place he tours including Tipper’s bed, has struck Mother Nature another blow. Earlier, thousands of people marched through central Sydney, ignoring wet and windy weather to protest against global warming. It appears to make no difference to these mindless saps that Australia's temperature this year is lower than last year's; a trend that may be continuing down under.
A week earlier Big Al gave another fear mongering filled speech on the dangers of global warming in New Zealand, just as it was emerging from one of its wettest and coldest winters on record. As the local newspapers report, “An unusually cold October has left Southland dairy farmers struggling.”

This apparently happens to the Gorester quite a lot. His effect on the climate was first noticed in Boston in 2004, when Gore was due to give a big speech in Boston on the imminent danger of the world frying. Presto, the city had its coldest temperatures in almost 50 years. Even John the traitor Kerry wore a heavy coat he bought with Teresa’s money.

Later that same year, Al gave a speech in New York and the city was greeted with near-record low temperatures. A lesser man would have licked his wounds and gone home, but Al has managed has the ability to turn hypocrisy into a living wage, far above minimum I may add. Since the big global warming scare of 1998, said to be the hottest year since the Middle Ages though one wonders how they obtained the measurements; the world's temperatures have fallen slightly and stayed there. In fact, the Artic icecap appears to be fighting a winning battle against Mr. Gore also as temperatures there have not only reversed their trend, but the caps are growing. Watch out for pissed off polar bears who had just recently sold off their heavy coats on Al’s advice.

I won’t speculate if Al Baby took a secret trip to the North Pole recently as anything is possible. However, in closing, I would like to point out another interesting tidbit of information. A Nobel Prize scientist has just released a study calling for more pollution in the atmosphere, more CO2, more pollutants. The reason? It seems that studies have show that as trees are destroyed by forest fires and deliberate burns, the local climate grows cooler. It also appears to make no difference if some environment nuts are tied to the trees before burning.

The reason according to the scientist is that the lack of tree foliage allows more sunlight to be reflected back into space thus cooling the planet. Anyone in favor of a really big BBQ and please don’t invite Al, we don’t need any snow on our ribs?

Theft Alert

While visiting with my daughter last evening she informed me of a serious theft that has occurred of which even I was totally unaware. Upon learning of said theft I was speechless and felt slightly uneasy, it took a hug, and reassuring kiss from her to guarantee me the world was still okay. It seems some callous individual stole both Wednesday and Thursday. I had been certain I was dealing with Tuesday evening last night that it came as a complete shock that Friday was arriving in several hours.

She offered me beer and pizza, which I readily accepted to drown away my pain. I knew Thanksgiving was coming next week along with some houseguests, but I still had plenty of time. There was no need to find a dead turkey in the forest, pick some cranberries from the bog, and dig up some sweet potatoes, lots of time. So while eating my now second slice of pizza and imbibing my second beer my mind twisted and turned as I attempted to rationalize, my situation.

I looked up at my daughter as she offered a third beer with her outstretched tender hands and I saw the pained look on her face. It was the look of, “You’re really losing it dad.” It was hidden behind a smile so others would not see it, but I recognized the look immediately and was forced to nod in agreement. Gently scolding her when she asked if I wanted another slice for not placing mounds of pepperoni, sausage, and bacon on the pizza, I assisted her in raiding the refrigerator for still another beer.

It was then that the full impact of her devious ways hit me. In a voice that can only be described as humorous, angelic she asked if I could move the refrigerator to the garage as the new one was arriving tomorrow. Leaping to my own defense, I stated in no uncertain terms how I would drive into hell and put out the fires for her if she would only give me another hug. I felt myself searching immediately for a map as she did me even one better and heinously gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek.

Suspecting I had been foiled once again she informed me that I might have to drill a hole through the tile floor and run a water system for the new refrigerator before it was delivered. To mask my surprise I was forced to have still another beer. As she joined me, I was obligated to inquire why she never gained an ounce nor lost her advantage over me when we drank malt beverages. Rubbing my stomach in a move that can only be taken as a sign of compassionate, pain, and superiority, she informed me it was because she preferred broccoli on her pizza and because she was special. This was far too much for me to take, so I went about the task of moving the refrigerator in abject silence with only an occasional grunt.

Later as we stood by her front door and as I prepared to leave, the rains poured down in a practice session for the great flood. She stood holding me tightly and I followed her gaze to the rain gutters knowing that in my heart of heart I would have to climb up there tomorrow and clear them. While holding her I whispered, “Tomorrow really is Friday?” I could feel her head nod briefly and a giggle leave her lips just before I received the final deathblow kiss, “Yes it is, and I have some chores for you this weekend if you’re not doing anything.”

The rain masked my tears as I sauntered out into the storm.

Microwave 3 minutes

This kind of stuff is going to get a lot of people killed. Political correctness warrants that tho shall not identify anyone least it gives some group a bad name, unless you are white and than we get photographs, religious history, name of their first born, marital issues complete with Viagra journals, crazy aunt in the attic and grades they got in elementary school, including all detentions with quotes by their kindergarten teacher, “I just knew little Ernie was going to grow up to be bad.”

Scanning the comic book section of the New York Times, which is the front page, I saw an itsy bitsy tiny little reference that made me look at several other newspapers. I searched and I searched and finally found another scant reference. An unemployed 34-year-old Dallas man was arrested at Detroit Metro Airport on Tuesday, carrying $78,883 in cash and a laptop computer containing mysterious files about cyanide and nuclear materials. I mean I knew that Detroit Tiger fans were upset, but YIKES!

Who is this Texan, could it be a relative of Cindy Sheehan preparing for a BBQ at her new ranch in Crawford. Nuclear material is always good to get those hard to start charcoals flaming - use it all the time (wash hands well before handing food). So reading a little further I found out this unemployed man (Well that seals it, it wasn’t lovely Cindy), agents asked him (confirmation of gender), if he had any cash to declare, he said he had $18,000. However, when agents checked his luggage, they found an additional $59,000.

Okay, so he liquidated all his assets and decided to travel the world looking for gainful employment. Makes sense. I was sure he was just some down on his luck Texas oilman looking to open the oil well a little wider with a small nuke so he could get more oil out, and you know those prairie dogs can be annoying, so that explains the cyanide. Now I can go to sleep without worry.

Content to put the article down, I happened to glance at his name, it was Sisayehiticha Dinssa. Err, I have known Texas oilmen, and they usually went by the name of Earl, Kit, Warren, and occasionally JR. Sisayehiticha? What the hell is a Sisayehiticha never mind a Dinssa? So now, I finished the article. It seems that when the agents scrolled through his laptop, they said they found the mysterious files. Mr. Dinssa (Hmm, mister?) told agents he was “interested” in learning about cyanide and nuclear materials. Well yeah, hell, I’m interested in hot peppers, but I don’t walk around with $78,000, fertilizer, and Napalm bomb files.

Federal Magistrate Judge Donald Scheer approved Assistant U.S. Attorney Leonid Feller’s request to detain Dinssa pending a detention hearing on Monday. Between now and then, Feller said, agents would try to find out more about him and the computer files. Yeah, that might be a good idea, you think? He is charged with concealing more than $10,000 in his luggage, which carries a maximum penalty of 5 years in prison, plus forfeiture of the money.

After an exhaustive search, I found out, he is from Ethiopia, which is a muslim country. Do you think this is relevant or is this just another starving Bono fan looking to make his way to a Bruce Springsteen antiwar concert? Cindy tells me that radiated mushrooms are good on ribs.

And the Survey Says...

Saw a long stupid survey yesterday that among other dumb questions asked the following. “Which of the following ethnic groups do you most closely identify with?”

Your choices were Caucasian, Hispanic/Latino, African American, Asian, Multiracial, and other. Does this seem dumb to anyone but me? Let me first deal with their question. I suppose that with the exception of ‘other’ you can be a Caucasian that identified with African-American because you like, rap music, love fried chicken, or think Jessie Jackson isn’t a racist. Perhaps you are Japanese and identify with Hugo Chavez because he reminds you of the corrupt emperors of old or you are a multiracial moderate but you just can’t make up your mind so you identify with Caucasians.

What exactly is the point of that question? Wouldn’t it be far simpler to ask, which of the following groups are you part of? Notice, I left out ethnic, more later. Is it too much to ask for a direct question, are they afraid that they may be accused of being well, too direct. Perhaps it is the Chianti speaking but I don’t see how you would be one of the group members but identify with the other. Even if you did, what would they get out of the answer? Would they than target BET TV toward a bunch of Koreans grocery owners?

Let’s go to their choices and the reason I left out ethnic. If they had given a choice of Polish, Russian, Japanese, Jamaican, Irish, or Mexican than I could buy off on ethic identification, these choices are not ethnic.

They aren’t even cultural, which might give you Hispanic in extreme interpretations, possibility but not really African-American, but definitely not Caucasian, Asian or multiracial. They lumped political terms, races, continents and confused all together. I suppose they think that Chinese and Russians have a lot in common or Nigerians and urban youths or maybe even the Irish and the English. Again, no matter what you pick for an answer, what do they get out of it. Will they begin broadcasting Italian TV to southern Baptists?

Pity the poor Indians or Egyptians or the Polynesians or the Brazilians, they never get to participate in the survey. The survey by the way was conducted by the New York Times, which should explain everything.

Cloak of Invisibility

In the last few days since the election, which was, all about getting out of Iraq and corruption of Republicans a strange thing has occurred that have made it onto page one news and lead stories in broadcasting. So this post is for all of you that thought you were getting a change in direction and a fresh face that would expose Bush’s failure in Iraq and bring about those who are pure of heart..
WABC News: Abramoff Reports to Prison; Officials Focus on Reid, Others. Abramoff apparently has named Harry Reid (Your new Senate Dumpocrap Majority leader) as one of 6 other Dumpocraps that will likely be swept into the ring of corruption faster than you can say I voted for them before I voted against them. This actually comes as no surprise to me as Harry Reid has been continually funneling money to his son’s law firms over the years for every conceivable government project. This is in addition to the phony corporation old Harry set up so he could buy property cheaply under the corporations name and sells it for over a million dollars.

USA Today: Middle East commander warns against deadline for Iraq pullout. General John Abizaid, the top U.S. commander in the Middle East, said today that, “setting a timetable to withdraw some U.S. troops from Iraq in four to six months would undermine the Iraqi government and boost sectarian violence. It would be interpreted as a withdrawal of U.S. support," testifying before the Senate Armed Services Committee.
CBS News Is Murtha Ethics Blight For Democrats. Murtha who voted against even the Dumpocraps own ethnics reform package was scaring even Dumpocraps, “Another thing to look for on the Murtha front in the 110th Congress is possible allegations that Murtha colluded with another member of Congress to prevent the Ethics Committee from pursuing allegations into his wrongdoing relating to Abscam, Davis reports.” Meanwhile Murtha is trading broadsides with Dumpocrap Steny H. Hoyer of Maryland. FOOD FIGHT!

Now you all know, I would never stoop and connect the dots on bias issues, but does anyone really believe these issues suddenly popped up out of a clear blue sky and that these news organizations did not know about them before the elections?

The New York Times, the Denver Post, Philadelphia Inquirer, Washington Post, the LA Times, the Chicago Tribune and news organizations all over the country are now running these tales of woe, as well as the on going corruption federal investigation against Bob Menendez of New Jersey. Judging by the smell, someone has apparently been doing something else with the New York Times besides wrapping dead fish in it. Do you think all these news outlets wrapped Dumpocraps with a cloaking device until after the elections?

In a totally unrelated story, Scientists are Reconstructing Portions of Neanderthal DNA and finding an awfully similar DNA strain linkage to Hillary Clinton.

Sweet Breads

I would like you to perform brain surgery on me even though I realize that after 6 years of medical school, you don’t have a clue what you’re doing. You really have to wonder what would make someone this incredibly stupid but that is what the majority of you did. According to a very recent poll, more Americans rank Iraq as the top priority of the new Dumpocrap-controlled Congress, but nearly three out of five say the party does not have a plan to deal with the war. Does this make you wish there was a national IQ test for voters?

At least they got something right, the Dumpocraps don’t have a plan to deal with Iraq. Their plans are as follows amd you can check this by going to any of their web sites:

Cut off the funding - always a first rate way to get troops killed. (Ours)

Get really really mean with the new Iraq government - (Do something better or we are leaving)

Say we mean it out loud three times – sigh.

Send the troops off to some undisclosed island over the horizon. (The Kerry the traitor plan)

Get the UN involved and embrace the international community - Yawn

Hug a terrorist – my personal favorite

There are several iterations of the above plans, which basically involve combining some of these items into a COMPREHENSIVE plan. Okay, where does that leave us? It leaves us exactly where we are right now. I realize some kooks in their party will try to pass one of these options, but I have some doubts that they will get anywhere other than headline news one day, oblivion the next.

Troops will begin to get demoralized, terrorists will become even more emboldened, and we will have more loony protests in the streets, including taking children out of our well run public schools to wave posters most of them can’t read.

It is going to be an interesting two years because the presidential elections will be held then and no one will want to say or do anything in congress that will make them look like a whinny, too left wing or trying something that fails miserably. Well maybe the Murtha’s of the world, since they are veterans; we aren’t allowed to criticize them. Remember the Jersey Girls.

The Dumpocraps do have a little problem though and it isn’t conservatives, Republicans, or libertarians. It is the loonies that have been screaming at Bush for the last six years and now they will have a liberal congress that won’t listen to them anymore since they got power. It is sort of the same thing the Dumpocraps do to black voters every election cycle.

So relax my friends and wait to see the cannibal food fight. The left wing bloggers without a Republican congress to blame will soon begin to feed on their own. As nourishing as this may be, I still want a national IQ test for voters and than we can talk about sweet breads.

War Myths

This weekend I came across an article that was so stunning in its idiotic and narcissistic tone that I felt compelled to write about the author, author may be too broad a term as I think more people read my blog than his books. The author before I start, is wanna be writer Edward W. Wood, Jr., a World War II veteran, veterans whom I normally have the utmost respect for, but this dip wad is a complete and utterly stupid person.

He was wounded during WWII at the age of 19 after an entire day and a half in battle, which apparently gives him the right to be a complete moron. He writes about war and politics; think John the traitor Kerry and Vietnam and curl it back to WWII. This post may be a little long for some of you but I can’t help it. So relax, have some wine and than have some more wine.

In his self-proclaimed fantasy titled appropriately “Getting past the myths of war,” he begins by giving us an insight into his brain or lack thereof. The trip inside is scary since it is dark in there and mostly devoid of any substantial matter. He begins our journey into his netherworld of self-indulgence by saying, “The problem with America in its struggle with terrorism is one we never talk of: our dedication - some would say addiction - to the myths of World War II.”

Yes little Eddie, I am sure that is our problem. These myths as you call them and our dedication to them is what flew those planes into the World Trade Center, the Pentagon and a field in Pennsylvania. Our lack of talking about these myths is what caused so many Americans to force flight 93 down knowing they were going to die. I remember clearly just the other day saying, gee, if it weren’t for the myths of WWII, our struggle against terrorism would be so much easier.

Proving his tight grasp on history is secure, he goes on to say, “From our colonial wars, our revolution, our wars with Native Americans, our Civil War, our wars of expansion in 1846 and 1898 and our victory in World War I, we inherited war as a path to national identity. Our stunning triumph in World War II gave war its mythical and glorious aspect in our minds.”

Are you getting a clearer picture now? Our inheritance is war and our victory in WWII was stunning. Let me say a few things little Eddie before you reveal some more of your astonishing historical grasp of history. What we inherited was not war, but peace, what we inherited was freedom and liberty paid for with the blood of our fathers and grandfathers so morons such as you could debase their efforts. Let me also say I am a Native American, I was born here, and I don’t recall fighting against this country, perhaps you were referring to the Apache who murdered and raped our women, burned our homes and tortured our men, just a thought. Let me also tell you since you were probably unconscious at the time that our victory in WWII was not stunning, it was foretold the moment we entered the war because we are that good. It was also paid for with blood, suffering, death, and courage.

Continuing to impress with his knowledge of both historical and current events, little Eddie pontificates further, “In spite of the stalemate in the Korean War, the brutal failure of the war in Vietnam and now the quagmire in Iraq - which even its advocates admit is not going well - the myths of that war more than 60 years ago continue to possess us and determine the way we relate to the rest of the world.” The stalemate in Korea was only because a politician would not let McArthur smash the communists and you have to admit South Korea has a damn good level of freedom today because of the stalemate while North Korea can’t feed its own people.

Vietnam was not a brutal failure, we were winning until politicians with a mindset like yours got involved and Iraq is not a quagmire no matter how much your liberal friends in the media portray it. However, it is your myths that interest me more than you obvious grasp of historical and current events.

You state that, “Severely wounded at age 19 in that war (yes you told us already), I have watched those myths slowly soften its harsh horror. Out of our stunning victory in 1945 we have come to believe in the following myths”: Let us look at your myths because they certainly aren’t ours.

Your myth # 1: War is good.
“Our defeat of Hitler and Hirohito and the "evil" that their nations inflicted on the world was complete. In that victory, continental America was never in danger of serious attack and its economy exploded, ending the Great Depression of the 1930s. World War II became a "good" to most Americans who never suffered from its horror.” I have heard crap in my time, but you seem hell bent on winning first prize in the big crap on yourself contest I am sponsoring next week.

First of all, it is interesting that you place quotes around the word evil. I take it from that little remark that you approve of wholesale slaughter of millions of Jews, Polish and Russians by Germany, or is perhaps to the rape, torture and beheadings by the Japanese you refer? As to war becoming “good” to most Americans, it appears it is good to you since after your first wife dumped you, you have been trying, dismally I might add, to earn a living off of war. Other than you, I really can’t recall a single American saying or thinking war is good. War may be necessary, but good is not a word I would attach to it.

Your myth #2: World War II was fought by the Greatest Generation.
You have this thing about Tom Brokow don’t you. “We came to believe that the generation which won the war had a kind of nobility not known to previous or later generations. It defeated that monstrous "evil" that so threatened the world.” After ignored your quoted evil again, I will tell you that they were the greatest generation. Many of our fathers and grandfathers came from this generation and I can tell you in no uncertain terms, mine were great and better than I. Looking at your family tree, so were yours, which must be why they disowned you. Men and women, boys and girls of America defeated this monstrous evil and make no mistake; they did not think war was good and that evil needed quotes.

Your myth #3: We won World War II largely on our own.
“Our literature and our movies seldom acknowledge the contribution of other nations to the victory in 1945. We believe our soldiers, sailors, airmen, and Marines largely won that war without much allied support.” Eddie, I remember watching war movies at an early age, Combat with Frenchie, the Philippino’s during the Pacific war, the Brits, and even the French (gag) underground helping out in their own ways. I recall the Australians, the Belgium’s and the Russians, but you know what else I remember. The collective world was getting its ass kicked before we got in there and cleaned clock.

Your myth #4: When evil lies in others, war is the only means to justice.
“The shocking discovery of the camps of the Holocaust at the end of that war showed us that absolute evil existed. The failure to halt that barbarity lay in those in Britain and France who appeased Hitler in the 1930s. There must be no appeasement, no mercy shown to enemy civilians or soldiers.” Gee wiz Eddie, no quotes around evil? Did you forget them in your hurry to spew forth tripe? Let me say this about your myth, when evil lies in others, war is sometimes the only answer, Chamberlain learned about talking to Hitler and we were talking with the Japanese when they attacked us. One other thing, war is not about justice, it is about winning.

Now since this myth crap is getting long, I will finish your garbage in a second post. I do have a question for you little Eddie, have you sold more than three books? There are some liberals who will buy just about anything, just look at the success of Michael Moore.

Cannibalism

Proving once again that liberals eat their own we travel to that city of tolerance and gaydom on the bay San Francisco. You may recall the Scott McKenzie song about wearing flowers in your hair, which was an anthem for the times and the unofficial anthem of the Monterey Pop Festival during the Summer of Love in 1967. The opening line goes something like this, “If you’re going to San Francisco, be sure to wear some duct tape on your lips...”

In this city, that Grace Slick said was built on rock and roll, well not really, but I like her. They have these people things that they call supervisors. In normal towns these dip wads are called city council members or freeloaders, but in San Francisco, they call them supervisors because they are superior to the rest of us. In this haven of free speech, you cannot criticize a supervisor unless you want to deal with them trying to get you fired for speaking freely. Anyway, stop trying to figure this out, it makes perfect sense in San Francisco.

A week or two ago a radio talk-show host by the name of Pete Wilson made some comments about a child born to Supervisor Bevan Dufty, who is gay, and Rebecca Goldfader, who is a lesbian (don’t get me started). As Wilson put it rather clearly, a baby is “not an experiment. It is not an opportunity to see how far you can carry your views on parenting, alternative lifestyles, or diversity in family structures.” Hmmm, whatever was he talking about? He wasn’t done, he also said, “Look around you, folks. You think the high divorce rate in this country has been, generally speaking, good for kids. So, why not start out divorced? See if that'll work.” Can you feel the dead silence that oozed across San Francisco in about three nano-seconds?

Now before you think that Wilson is a right wing conservative Christian nut job that is forever putting down homosexuals think again. He supports same-sex marriage and gay parenting. He is against the war in Iraq and isn’t what one would call a traditional conservative or a libertarian by any perverted stretch of the imagination. He is as liberal as the rest of the fruit flies that inhabit that dock on the bay. Well it doesn't matter, doesn’t matter one bit. Liberals will eat their own and ask for a generous helping of seconds. Supervisors Tom Ammiano, Chris Daly, Ross Mirkarimi, and Aaron Peskin held a press conference (surprise) at which they called Wilson “homophobic” and demanded that he resign his job.

Mr. Dufty the husband/father/guy/daddy/gay wrote in an e-mail to Wilson. I do not want you to “resign or lose your position over this incident.” A shell shocked Wilson marveled that Dufty “showed more class than anyone else in this.” It is highly unlikely that Duffy or any of the superiors, I mean supervisors, even knows what class is unless it is a place to distribute condoms, but we can talk about class in another post.

Wilson has of course apologized, well sort of, not for his misgivings about parenting and children, but for using “inappropriate” and overly personal language. Imagine his surprise when the liberal way of apologizing by speaking out of both sides of your mouth hasn’t really worked this time. You remember John the traitor Kerry apologizing recently to “people that may have misunderstood this comments.” No John Boy we did not.

You see the double jobber the hut Wilson also anchors ABC7 TV news in San Francisco. California Assemblyman Mark Leno did not call on Wilson to resign and now says, because Wilson has apologized, it is time to move on. Still he continued, whether “it is inappropriate for Wilson to be wearing those two hats.” As opposed to two faces like Leno one would imagine, that Wilson couldn’t be a “loose cannon” on the radio and “an impartial anchorman.”

Then again, no one complained about the two hats before. Wilson has opposed the war in Iraq, and they weren't wringing their hands then about his credibility. I figure this is okay since every other TV talking head on ABC is a left wing kook so what is one more.

Judith Appel, executive director of the alternative-family Our Family Coalition, attended the anti-Wilson event as it provided an “opportunity” to highlight alternative families with “adults who love their children.” Organizations like NAMBLA, however, she was silent on whether Wilson should lose his job. Doesn’t make your heart warm to see an anti-rally held for a liberal?

Deliberately ignoring Wilson's point, Superior Ammiano accused the talk-show host of trying to "dehumanize a week-old baby.” He declared that Wilson's "manhood is threatened.” Noting that he would never criticize Wilson's offspring, Ammiano added, "I would never ask how much grunting and sweating there was -- and God knows it probably it didn't last very long -- at that kid's conception.” Can you feel the love!! Would you like some fine BBQ sauce with that neck bone, good for sucking!!

Leno, who like Ammiano is gay, said, "I'm not going to criticize those supervisors.” As he sees it, San Francisco and gays are "the aggrieved party. We're the ones who are getting beaten up.” Ammiano accused Wilson of "abuse of privilege," and not to be outdone Superior Peskin cited "abuses" of power."

Except in this case, gays and San Francisco superiors are in power, and they're trying to get a man fired for expressing views they don't like. They clearly don't appreciate the beauty of free speech: When you don't like what someone says, you talk back. You don't silence dissenters, unless you are afraid what they say is true.

If Superior Ammiano wanted to send a message, that when the gay lobby has power, straight Americans will enjoy less freedom, he could not have done a better job. Hush children, I think I can hear Nancy Pelosi singing right now.

If you are going to San Francisco,
Be sure to wear some duct tape on your lips
If you are going to San Francisco,
You're gonna meet some intolerant people there

For those who come to San Francisco,
Summertime will be a firing-in there
In the streets of San Francisco
Gentle people with duct tape on their lips

All across the nation,
Such a strange vibrator
People in motion
There's a whole generation
With a new explanation
People intolerant, people intolerant

For those who come to San Francisco,
Be sure to wear some duct tape on your lips
If you come to San Francisco,
Summertime will be a firing-in there

If you come to San Francisco,
Summertime will be a firing-in there

I Got Gas

I went outside this morning and it was well over 60 degrees, beautiful weather, balmy breezes, just the kind of weather that makes me nostalgic for global warming. As the last of the leaves are falling and decomposing into rich organic material so I can grow even bigger and hotter hot peppers next spring, I immediately became concerned over the amount of CO2 that was being released to satisfy my craving for hot peppers.

Actually, it is exactly CO2 that is blamed for most of the greenhouse gases and thus the villain we should all be concerned about, let’s look at this Inconvenient Truth or Carbon Dioxide’s effect on temperature. I will do my best to keep this from being a science lesson for those of you who recently escaped the education system, so every time I mention CO2 just breathe out and expel those bad gases into our pristine environment. We don’t want this turning into another Venus or something.

The relationship between global temperature and carbon dioxide (CO2), on which the entire global warming scare is founded, is not as simple as they would have you believe. Do not let them load you up with a bunch of horse turds about how much is being added and that we need to slow it down. You see they want you to believe something that has the sound of truth to it, when it doesn’t have any. Each and every molecule (those tiny things you can’t see) of CO2 added to the atmosphere contributes less to warming than the previous one.

So while 1 + 1 = 2, it really isn’t when it comes to global warming. Confused? They want you to be. Think of it this way. If you get 15 miles per gallon on a gallon of gasoline, would you be able to drive exactly 30 miles on two gallons? The answer is no, because you have to subtract the weight of the extra gasoline that is added to the car’s weight to calculate the exact mileage, as you add more gas the vehicle becomes heavier and you get less mileage per gallon. Well CO2 works in a similar fashion.

Perhaps you would like another example that is even easier to understand, yes. Good. If you take an empty bucket that holds a gallon of liquid and pour in one gallon of water you have a full bucket. If you pour in a second gallon, is the bucket fuller or are your shoes very wet? Try this experiment on your new living room rug when you get home.

Evidence from plant fossil-remains suggest to us that there was as much CO2 in the atmosphere about 11,000 years ago as there is today. So where does it go and if decomposing, animals and plants add CO2 and 1+1=2 that we would be living in almost a pure CO2 atmosphere after so many millions of years wouldn’t we. Cough, cough. I’m thinking here that since we are looking at plant fossils, than we can’t really calculate a moment by moment environmental warming as some web sites counters might wish you to believe. Besides, if the amount of CO2 were about the same as 11,000 years ago we would need one damn accurate counter. I’m not sure my watch is that accurate.

Throughout our little study, you need to keep another little Inconvenient Truth in mind. You will hear that the United States is the largest producer of CO2 of all nations and that we need to do something and do it now. The reason we are the largest producer isn’t because we are really really mean, it is because our economy is the largest, so to reduce our CO2 we need to make our economy somewhat smaller, say like approximately the GNP of Chad, that economic powerhouse of Africa.

In a future post I will explain to you climate sensitivity which takes the CO2 and does something with it. It is quite boring to read, but I promise I will make it a little more interesting when I get around to it. The bottom line is that CO2 temperatures increases in the atmosphere aren’t linear. That is an important sounding way of saying, it gets to a certain point and than the hell with it, it sort of up chucks.

There are so many areas to ridicule in the global warming arena that I can amuse you for weeks; but, I will intersperse global warming rubbish with other things that amuse me even more. So until next time, stop breathing so much.

Coat Drive Alert

As the holidays approach, I try to do good for my fellow man, but sometimes things don’t go exactly as you would like. In a very disappointing development recently, scientists have declared that no life exists on the Saturn moon Titan. Titan, the largest moon in the solar system has intrigued scientists and me for years because of its dense atmosphere. The recent probe Huygens confirmed that the moon’s atmosphere is primary nitrogen and methane, fart gas for short. I had held out hope that we had finally found a place to send senate Dumpocraps where they would feel at home. Unfortunately, its surface temperature is about minus 180 Celsius and I am not the heartless and callous conservative some think I am.

Titan would have proved an ideal location to provide a home for them, as there is no Iraq, no global warming, and no shortage of gas, natural or otherwise. Since 9/11, the Dumpocraps senators have let more methane escape their body orifices than any other time in history and the damage they were doing to our own world has been very near incalculable.

On Titan, a world rich in methane exists where they would have felt very much at home. I haven’t given up hope though and in the spirit of helping, my fellow man I have devised a solution that even the most liberal among you would approve. I am starting a coat drive to help keep them warm upon their arrival. If anyone has a used coat and would like to donate it, please register in the comment field and I will send you instructions where to drop off your donation in Washington. I am furiously looking into a meals-on-wheels program for congressional house Dumpocraps that would be in keeping with my environmentally safe nature. The planet Mercury is looking promising because of the natural radiant heat.

Remember each coat you send can provide some much-needed warmth to a Dumpocraptic senator, so please have a heart, and donate today.

Language Arts

A language art, a pretty phase, is the latest attempt to screw around with English. You remember English, those dry grammar rules, incoherent spelling tricks, term papers, compositions, sentence diagrams and such. Somewhere between valley girls and the “like” generation, English became something to ignore. Kids today are no longer taught these arcane rules, or pronunciation, penmanship and proper word usage.

English was once considered the hardest language to learn, but no more. If you don’t know the rules, you have two choices today. The first choice is to speak louder. Louder works because it usually involves shouting, name-calling, and general intimidation. Who would want to correct someone who is shouting at you, “Hey muter f…er” “Eh, just a minute young lady, the correct pronunciation is mother.”

The second choice is to make it up as you go. This works because your peers will generally consider you a trendsetter or someone in the know of the latest catch phases. Your elders will ignore you as they just assume you are engaging in the latest teen trend. The “Like” generation has taken this to a new art form. “I was like really mad so I like said to him he never called me like he said he would.”

It amazes me that some of the best speakers of English today are from a foreign land. This is simply because they practice the language, not because they are intrinsically better. Look at a typical homework assignment from today’s public schools.

A spelling assignment one day, a fill in the blank story the next. A review of a book that should never have seen a publisher and than throw in a good dash of self-esteem. This means, do not offend anyone who cannot read or write properly. Do not criticize someone who speaks with the wrong pronunciation or make fun of gutter language.

We are raising a nation of illiterate children, who will become illiterate adults. We have no expectations of them, we do not challenge them, and we do not hurt their feelings. You know where this all leads if you are a long time reader of my posts. It leads to stupid voters, people who believe the latest news sound bite, it leads to liberalism.

In order to take back this nation, we first have a difficult job of educating people.

ADHD

I believe it is time to leave politics behind while it all sorts itself out and talk of more rational things such as; education, history, culture, religion, and science. What am I talking about; these things tend to get irrational too. Anyway, they are certainly more rational than politics at least.

Before you continue, I should warn you that I have been diagnosed as possibly having moderate ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), my voices were still hung over from the elections so they escaped detection. The Center for Disease Control estimates 4.4 million youth ages 4-17 have been diagnosed with ADHD by a healthcare professional (ever wonder what that means? You would think they would say physician if they meant a real doctor), and as of 2003, 2.5 million youth ages 4-17 are currently receiving medication treatment for the disorder. Does this scare you? It should.

In 1998 at the National Institutes of Health Consensus on ADHD, the following statement was issued: "We do not have an independent, valid test for ADHD, and there is no data to indicate that ADHD is due to a brain malfunction.” In other words, we guess a lot and use your children to sell drugs and experiments, besides the public schools are on our side.

Labels like ADHD, ADD, ODD, LD etc are in no sense true diseases. There are no reliable diagnostic methods. Psychiatrists cannot even agree among themselves about how to diagnose ADD/ ADHD. In addition, your child needs to, be put on a medication that is a close cousin to amphetamine (Speed dude) because of the ADHD label.

Did you know that schools receive additional money from state and federal government for every child labeled and drugged? This clearly demonstrates a possible "financial incentive" for schools to label and drug children. It also backs up the alarming rise/increase in the labeling and drugging that has taken place in the last decade within our schools. I will wait for a later post to talk about the drugged teachers.

Did you know that parents receiving welfare money from the government can get additional funds for every child that they have labeled and drugged? In this way, many welfare parents (many times single mothers) are reeled into the drugging by these financial incentives waved in front of them in hard times, making lifestyle changes possible such as searching for other government handouts.

Does it make you wonder how most of us went through our younger years without a trace of ADHD, millions and millions of kids, were there really that many of us that were borderline crazy (I wasn’t asking for an answer). Any child that does not follow the school rules, that occasionally acts up in class that is bored to tears at the curriculum of self-esteem and diversity nonsense, is at risk of this diagnoses. You as a parent are at risk at being labeled a bad parent if you don’t go along with the school officials.

To show you the absurdity of the testing, I took a test easily found on the internet. I will show you my answers and final score. So that you can judge for yourself if I am really crazy, I placed in parentheses my interpretation of the question and the reason for my answer.

1. At home, work, or school, I find my mind wandering from tasks that are uninteresting or difficult.

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot (Who the hell keeps focused on dull crap? Why not separate uninteresting from difficult)
Very much

2. I find it difficult to read written material unless it is very interesting or very easy. (Same mumbo-jumbo. Separate very interesting from very easy and you get different results)

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot (Yes we love to read tripe such as the NY Times – boring)
Very much

3. Especially in groups, I find it hard to stay focused on what is being said in conversations.

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot (Because most group conversations are garbage and lead nowhere.)
Very much

4. I have a quick temper... a short fuse. (This test is an example)

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately (Only because I turned off the main stream news report)
Quite a lot
Very much

5. I am irritable, and get upset by minor annoyances.

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat (I heard from too many liberals today)
Moderately
Quite a lot
Very much

6. I say things without thinking, and later regret having said them.

Not at all (Otherwise I wouldn’t have said them)
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot
Very much

7. I make quick decisions without thinking enough about their possible bad results.

Not at all (Ditto)
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot
Very much

8. My relationships with people are made difficult by my tendency to talk first and think later. (the presumption is your relationships are difficult)

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot
Very much

9. My moods have highs and lows. (It is called normal emotions)

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot
Very much

10. I have trouble planning in what order to do a series of tasks or activities.

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately (I can’t decide whether to get the boring stuff done first or put it off until it goes away)
Quite a lot
Very much

11. I easily become upset.

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately (Only when listening to liberals)
Quite a lot
Very much

12. I seem to be thin skinned and many things upset me. (Seemed to be by whom?)

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot
Very much

13. I almost always am on the go.

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat (I admit I have slowed down some, but god, I’m getting older)
Moderately
Quite a lot
Very much

14. I am more comfortable when moving than when sitting still.

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot
Very much (It commands more attention when I speak)

15. In conversations, I start to answer questions before the questions have been fully asked.

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot
Very much (I already know the answers, why wait?)

16. I usually work on more than one project at a time, and fail to finish many of them.

Not at all
Just a little (No I prefer to be an obsessive compulsive)
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot
Very much

17. There is a lot of "static" or "chatter" in my head. (earth to doctor – voices are telling me you should not be a doctor)

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot
Very much

18. Even when sitting quietly, I am usually moving my hands or feet.

Not at all (unless there is a really good song on the radio)
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot
Very much

19. In group activities it is hard for me to wait my turn.

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat (I have no patience for banal chit-chat)
Moderately
Quite a lot
Very much

20. My mind gets so cluttered that it is hard for it to function.

Not at all ( I multitask very well thank you)
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot
Very much

21. My thoughts bounce around as if my mind is a pinball machine.

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot
Very much (So much to say, so little time)

22. My brain feels as if it is a television set with all the channels going at once.

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot (this is why we are able to carry on several conversations at once)
Very much

23. I am unable to stop daydreaming.

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately (I dream of a day that children will be judged on the merit of their abilities rather than the color of their drugs)
Quite a lot
Very much

24. I am distressed by the disorganized way my brain works. (Who accused us of being disorganized, tell me who. Well maybe the wife)

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot

Very much

S C O R E S

If you scored...	You may have...
70 & up 50 – 69 (I got 58) 35 - 49 25 - 34 0 - 24	Adult ADD or ADHD Moderate ADD or ADHD Mild ADD or ADHD Borderline ADD No ADD likely

You appear to be suffering from a moderate amount of attention and concentration difficulties according to your responses to this self-report questionnaire. You should not take this as a diagnosis of any sort, or a recommendation for treatment. However, if would be advisable and likely beneficial for you to seek further diagnosis from a trained mental health professional (remember not a doctor) soon to rule out a possible attention disorder. Yeah right as soon as I can pay attention to this garbage a moment longer.

More garbage, more ruined children.