Colorado

What has little Johnny Done

2007-10-02T04:10:00.001-06:00

American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) today called on presidential candidate Sen. John McCain to appoint a Muslim campaign advisor and a Muslim White House aide if elected in 2008.

CAIR’s request came following McCain’s remarks that America is a “Christian” nation and that he would not be comfortable with a Muslim in the White House. ...

“The Constitution, reflecting the principles of the Founding Fathers and those who voted for its ratification, prohibits religious tests for public office,” said CAIR National Legislative Director Corey Saylor. “Senator McCain should know that our nation was founded on universal moral principles common to many religions and philosophies. He does a disservice to those principles by suggesting that not belonging to a particular religious group limits an individual’s ability to lead.”

Saylor said Muslim advisors could offer McCain accurate information on issues related to Islam and the American Muslims. As a service to both Johnny and CAIR for whom I have only the utmost bile saved, allow me to offer them both accurate information on issues related to islam.

islam is a cult that promotes beheadings, pedophilia, brutality against women, world domination and a return to those balmy days before nasty global warming in the 13th century. It is also a cult that regularly refers to people of the Jewish faith as pigs and Christians as infidels while attempting to say out of the other side of its mouth that it is an inclusive religion. Yes inclusive as long as you are muslim and believe in the principles of Shari’ law, otherwise off with their heads.

It is a cult that has advanced its own people not one iota since its founding in a dank cave in the desert by the head pedophile big Mo. Rather than go into the various subsets of death this religion of peace promotes at this time, I offer myself as the official advisor to Johnny’s campaign so they can check with me before sticking their foot in their mouth again. You had it right the first time Johnny but than the politician in you took over.

Creepy Islamic Attrocities Remakers - CAIR

2007-09-30T04:37:00.001-06:00

Score one for CAIR and list another reason why John McCain is not fit to be president. Mr. McCain, (I have decided not to call anyone a US Senator if they disgrace the office – I think they all do, but I’m willing to bend), said something he may have believed for two entire seconds than cowered to the islamic terrorist front group CAIR.

McCain said, “I admire the Islam. There’s a lot of good principles in it, but I just have to say in all candor that since this nation was founded primarily on Christian principles, personally, I prefer someone who I know who has a solid grounding in my faith.”

First of all there are no good principles in it Johnny Boy and I say that in all candor. Being a politician I know you all say stupid ignorant stuff like this all the time so I was willing to let it go, but you apparently left your balls on the night stand the moment CAIR complained.

“That kind of attitude goes against the American tradition of religious pluralism and inclusion,” said Ibrahim Hooper, spokesman for the Council on American-Islamic Relations. He urged McCain to “clarify his remarks” and “stress his acceptance of political candidates of any faith.”

I would have said to Ibby – “WTF. You have a lot of room to talk when islam goes against the American tradition of pluralism. Convert of die I believe it says.” I would have said this to him as we kicked his dumb ass out of the country, but that’s just me.

So what does Johnny Testacaless do? He clarifies his remarks saying, “I would vote for a Muslim if he or she was the candidate best able to lead the country and to defend our political values.”

Johnny, Johnny, Johnny – we hardly knew ya – but now we do.

There’s always room for Santa or is it Jello

2007-09-29T04:11:00.000-06:00

If you think we are winning the war you’re wrong. We need more troops, a larger surge and we have to implement “take no prisoners” before it is too late, which it already may be. No not in Iraq, but here in Illinois. I’m talking about the war to eliminate public education. Consider this little ditty from Oak Lawn Illinois.

The school district is considering banning traditions seen as offensive to Muslims. I have a better idea, how about banning muslims as offensive to humans. It isn’t serious yet; I mean we are only talking about Halloween, Christmas and Jell-O. God help us if it expands to include Martin Luther King’s birthday, Labor Day, Gay Pride Week or put a condom on a zucchini month.

It began innocently enough earlier this month when school dimwits agreed to change the lunch menu to exclude items containing pork to accommodate Muslim students. News that Jell-O was struck from the menu caused such a stir that officials have agreed to bring it back. Gelatin is often made with tissue or bones of pigs or other animals. Had I been administrator I would have immediately added pigs in a blanket to every menu choice with each pancake emblazoned with the image of the prophet of doom.

Well apparently many folk got a little ticked off and police were called to calm down parents after the latest brainless wonder decided to include Halloween and Christmas festivities in the bend down and kiss your ass goodbye controversy; or as asshole in charge Principal Sandy Robinson said, "It's difficult when you change the school's culture.” Ah Sandy, it’s difficult when you stick your head too far up your ass to do stupid things, but you managed to do that.

Elizabeth Zahdan, a mother of three District 122 students, says she took her concerns to the school board this month, not because she wanted to do away with the traditions, but rather to make them more inclusive. "I only wanted them modified to represent everyone," she said. "Now the kids are not being educated about other people," she said. Betty, Betty, perhaps you would agree that you’re kids need to learn about Big Mo’s taste for little children or current day stoning practices so they too can learn about other people, can we agree on that?

Following the example of Lieb Elementary School, Columbus Manor School will exchange the annual Halloween parade for a fall festival next month. The holiday gift bazaars at both schools also will remain, but they'll likely be moved to the PTA-sponsored after-school winter festival. And Santa's annual visit probably will be on a Saturday.

In case you’re wondering nearly half of the students at Columbus Manor school are Arab descent and a little less than a third district wide are, which translates into the un-say able – muslim. I suggest that all parents of non-Arab descent convert to a new religion called, Sowish. As a Sowish, all Sowians would be considered to have committed blasphemy if they did not hand all those you meet a John Dean raw sausage and bend down and fart in the direction of Mecca during each class period.

Debate, Distortion, Invention and Danger Will Robinson.

2007-07-10T03:30:00.000-06:00

I find that I can not post replies to individuals, try as I might, because I start to get worked up and babbling at the gums. Once again I find myself responding to one person as a post. Sylvie – How can you debate me? I distort things? I make things up? I am dangerous?

My dear friend, allow me to expand. First I ask what are we debating. Is it that terrorism is bad or that all terrorists are muslim? Are we debating whether there are 10 million terrorists or only 840 thousand? The number is quite irrelevant; it is very large in either case. Are we debating whether out of 1.4 billion, 1.2 billion, or 1.1 billion, that 167 million in Pakistan versus 600,000 roughly 3% are fighting terrorists and the other 97% are hiding them? Are we debating whether the other 99% muslims worldwide are standing up to terrorism or sitting silently by? In both cases, I know that there are a few that attempt to speak up and are summarily executed by their peaceful religion.

You see Sylvie, we can quibble over form and numbers, mine are quite accurate, but no matter we can use yours. While we quibble, they are plotting to kill you and me. Would you like to debate that? Did I make that up or perhaps I distort that? Did I make up 9/11? Did I make up 1993 WTC, did I make up the USS Cole, Khobar Towers, and others or beheadings, children suicide murders. Did I make up Spain train stations, London subways, London doctors, Fiji, Germany, Munich; I can draw a map that covers the world? It is current, it does not include the dark ages - even if that is where islam is stuck – with some minor exception in Scotland, I hear a roaring silence from the 99%.

Perhaps it upsets you that I paint with a broad brush, I do, I know. Until Mexico stops actively shipping their poor to my country illegally for 1.1 billion dollars in return I will call Mexico a slave trader. Until many inner city blacks stop representing themselves as poor downtrodden welfare recipient children of slaves suffering untold discrimination for which I owe them something and take responsibility for their own actions I will call them worthless arses. Until global warming narcissistics stop misrepresenting facts I will call them crazy moonbats. Until liberals start living their lives they way they want to force me to live mine I will call them useful idiots. Until public education educates and eliminates indoctrination and stupidity I will call for its elimination. Until politicians stop believing that taxes expand the economy and I need their meddling I will call them Dumpocraps. Until 99% of muslims stand up and eliminate muslim terrorists without being asked, I will call them enablers and sympathizers. Until muslims eliminate jihad, shari’a, stop teaching their children that Jews are the devil, that “People of the Book” are to be eliminated I will call them evil camel dung.

Hakmed of Constantinople said to his women and children, "Know this, ye harlots, that the Prophet Mohammed (Praise Be Unto Him) watches you, and the way you tempt the loins of men. On Earth your punishment will come from the whip and the stone, in Hell you will suffer rape from the barbed penises of the Jews." Hitler was not a radical who happened to be a Nazi. Mussolini was not an radical who happened to be a fascist. Stalin was not a radical who happened to be a communist. Al Gore was not a moron who happened to discover global warming. mohammad was not a radical pedophile who happened to start islam.

The Christian religion was founded on forgiveness and hope, the Jewish on an individual and personal relationship with god, the Buddhist on self examination, the Hindu on universal knowledge, the islamic on death, destruction, pedophilia and conquest. I am dangerous? Me things you have be mistaken for someone who gives a shit what others think. Do you have a suggestion for what we should debate terrorists about? Do you believe if the US leaves Iraq they will go back to their peaceful lives selling hot dogs on Corniche Beach? Perhaps the next target will be the Sydney Opera House during a presentation of James Morrison while we debate the motives of the 99%. If we don’t debate what else is there - right? Terrorists do not debate but they love that we do – I made that up, but am I wrong?

British Security sources say there are 0.06 who are radical muslims. Hmm, just where do you suppose they came up with that number, these experts? Polls, interviews, CNN, questionnaires at mosques, pin-the-tail on the Burqa? That number makes as much sense as the climate will heat up 1 degree over the next century. Interesting numbers for debates, but totally worthless – no one knows. It may be 10% or 50%, it may be 2 degrees or it might turn into an ice ball as the “experts” said in 1976.

You worry that by painting all muslims as evil we play into the hands of radicals. Yup, that is just how Christians and Jews react when peole call the Christian religion evil or that the Jews are inventing the holicost - we go on jihad and behead everyone. But there is this jerk at the 7-11 that... - oh never mind.

Perhaps you missed a story I posted some time ago, at least I think I did, my memory is not what it use to be, probably the Chianti. I worked with a Canadian muslim some time ago, very nice and bright man – Canadian citizen of some ten years. We traveled together across Canada, ate dinner together often, sometimes breakfast. Knew him for almost 10 years, met the wife, the kids, visited him in the hospital when he broke his back in a car accident, went to see the Toronto Blue Jays on his dime, etc, etc, etc. He was a senior manager at a worldwide firm I worked for; we rarely talked politics or religion we talked business or the beauty of mountains near Banff, the ocean port of Vancouver, the ice storms of Toronto. All around nice guy. Even called me to see if I survived 9/11, I thanked him for his concern and thoughts.

He left the firm to return to his homeland in Bahrain, a peaceful and well to do country. One year later he sent me an email. It was without going into detail, a plea to help him get something into this country for the sake of islam. I took the time to visit the FBI and present them with the details. He was killed in the ensuing gun battle, I am glad, I miss him not. He was a peaceful muslim. Yes, I paint with a broad brush. I make no apologies.

Getting even

2007-07-10T00:26:00.000-06:00

A man and a woman, who have never met before, but are both married to other people, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly ... he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying,"Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend we're married."

"Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed.

"Good," she replied. "Get your own fucking blanket!"

After a moment of silence, he farted.

WTF News Item

2007-06-30T00:21:00.000-06:00

I had hopes of embarking on a saner line of posts after the immigration debacle of the past weeks until I came across this WTF news item. There is just so much one can keep up with these days, which makes it is a bit madding when things slip. Here is one item that I have read several times yet I am still befuddled.

More than four years after Saddam Hussein's ouster, the Security Council voted Friday to shut down the U.N. inspection bodies that helped uncover his illegal weapons programs but were then banned from Iraq by the United States. . It was approved by a vote of 14-0 with Russia abstaining.

The U.S. had been trying since 2005 to get the Security Council to wrap up the work of the inspectors. Iraq's new leaders had also been lobbying for the council to stop using the country's oil revenue to pay the salaries of the inspectors, and the resolution adopted by the council frees up $60 million dollars for transfer to the Iraqi government.

So here we go with my befuddlement. WTF were these people doing for the past four years besides collecting money for doing nothing? In a bit of understatement, Britain's U.N. Ambassador Emyr Jones Parry said that for some time neither of the U.N. bodies "have been in a position to carry out their functions in a way which serves the aim of disarmament and nonproliferation."

No kidding, some time? Four damn years of feeding at the US and British feed bag and they didn’t even bring their own silverware. It does get worse so hold on.

Since leaving Iraq, the U.N. Monitoring, Verification and Inspection Commission known as UNMOVIC has continued to study satellite imagery in efforts to keep track of equipment with dual civilian and military uses that could be used in biological, chemical and missile programs. On Thursday, the commission published a 1,200-page account of Iraq's weapons programs and the lessons learned in the verification process. Do you realize they wrote a total of one page a day for 4 years? Hell public elementary school can do better than that; they can probably manage two pages misspellings and all.

So, for four years you have been looking for equipment used by a dead dictator with US troops running all over the place killing terrorists to see if said equipment could be used in a dual use mode? Come again? WTF are you looking at, do you know? You are looking at either US equipment used to kill terrorists or you are looking at a democratic Iraq government sandwich truck. Do you know how asinine you sound?

According to the United Nations, in the 1990s, U.N. inspectors uncovered significant undeclared banned weapons programs, including a biological warfare program that Saddam sought to conceal, the chemical nerve agent VX and other advanced chemical weapons capabilities, and the indigenous production of long-range ballistic missile engines. You know those things that George Bush made up to get elected?

The IAEA's Director General Mohamed ElBaradei recalled that he reported in early March 2003 that the IAEA "had found no evidence or plausible indication of the revival of a nuclear weapons program in Iraq" — and would have been able to provide "an objective and thorough assessment of Iraq's nuclear-related capabilities within a few months."

What ElBaradei left unsaid was that soon after U.S. forces invaded and toppled Saddam.

UNMOVIC's Acting Executive Chairman Demetrius Perricos warned the council in a final briefing Friday that the possibility of terrorists or insurgents getting their hands on toxic chemical agents "is real," especially in the present security environment in Iraq. Don’t worry Demetrius, they don’t exist – just ask John Kerry our expert or perhaps you should ask Moveon.Org, our other assho...er experts.

He also cited a number of outstanding issues that "cannot be resolved and therefore contribute to the residue of uncertainty" about Iraq's chemical, biological and missile programs. These included the fate and whereabouts of 25 Al Samoud II missiles that were not destroyed before inspectors left in 2003, 326 SA2 missile engines, the status of the Muthanna chemical weapons facility, and the fate of liquid anthrax dumped in Baghdad in 1991. Again, don’t worry Demetrius, they don’t exist, it is just your imagination. Just ask John Edwards our junior expert

Russia's U.N. Ambassador Vitaly Churkin objected to the council's failure to comply with previous resolutions demanding that the inspectors certify that Iraq has no weapons of mass destruction before terminating their mandate.

"The adoption of this resolution does not give any clear answers to the existence of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq," Churkin said. I thought I told you John Kerry made that perfectly clear.

U.S. Ambassador Zalmay Khalilzad said the efforts of the U.S.-led multinational force in Iraq and the U.S. Iraq Survey Group, which investigated Iraq's weapons programs from 2003-2005, "have demonstrated that the current government of Iraq does not possess any weapons of mass destruction or delivery systems." I am beside myself with your intellect Zalmay. The current government does not possess any weapons of mass destruction – yep, you shore did your job.

Someone please tell me it’s me and I read too much into things. This was put out buy the UN and the media and we are suppose to sit here and say, “Hmmm, makes sense.” Gawd, I’m glad it’s the weekend.

Ancient Democracy

2007-03-19T08:56:00.000-06:00

Do you know the true beginning of Democracy? It began in a narrow pass on the northern shores of Greece and it began in death. I know there were a few earlier examples of democracy in India and Sumar, but it was in this narrow passage that it began in earnest. If you believe in democracy and its value and contribution to freedom, than you must give thanks to the military for without them, it would not be possible.

The year was 480 BC, yes a long time ago, and the place was Thermopylae. You may have heard of it, you may not if you live in a cave. It was here that democracy was born and never looked back. It was here that 300 soldiers fought and died. They fought thousands, a 100 thousand or more, some say more than 2 million. They knew they had no chance to win the fight, yet they fought to the last and they fought bravely. Whatever the number, it was more than 300 could ever stand against, yet stand they did.

The King was Leonidas and the soldiers were Spartans. Men born to fight and bred to fight. They stood as some of their own countrymen took the side of the enemy, as today, the cowards never learn. Today many take the side of our enemy either on the field of battle or in spirit just as over 300,000 Greeks took the side of the Persian Empire against their own.

Even than there were many that supported the troops, but were against the mission. You can not do this and support the troops, for the troops are the mission and they will die for you whether you ask or not.

There were others with the Spartans, Thespians some say 700, but it was the 300 we remember. 300 Spartans stood against the minions of Xerxes empire. For three days they fought before they finally fell to deceit and treachery. What could 300 hope to gain? Fame, immortality – no. Why would they do this? Duty, honor, orders – no.

They did it to purchase time. They did it to save the world. For in those days of their battle and death they gave time for the rest of their fledgling nation to assemble and assault and defeat the Persian empire on their own soil.

What if the 300 had fled? What if they had truly lost the battle. It is difficult to tell what ifs in history, but the Persian Empire surely would have taken Greece and pushed even further into Europe. An idea would have been smashed and perhaps never return. The idea was democracy. Today Persia is Iran, today Xerxes is islam, today Sparta is a city within Greece. Today the 300 are in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Do the 300 today fight for duty, for orders, for fame or for immortality – No. They fight for the same reason, an idea. Democracy. Should they not fight to give us time, this terror would be on your doorstep and democracy would die and so would all your rights to complain.

Think of the 300 next time you foolishly say you support the troops but not the war. Think of Thermopylae. Think of that narrow pass between Persia and us called Iraq.

Perhaps I need to be me

2007-03-07T06:14:00.000-07:00

There are times I feel so high on life, those are the times she is there. Lately I have been feeling a bit neglected, no that's not right, purposely neglected for reasons unclear, nor do I purpuse them, it wouldn't be right. So until I learn perhaps I need to be me.

How did he get my shirt?

2006-12-28T17:27:00.000-07:00

Check out the guy on Dave's right. What's that all about. Give it back

Its burning me up

2006-12-27T15:57:00.000-07:00

Would it be all right some day

I am still alive

2006-12-27T15:15:00.000-07:00

Maybe it is time to be a highwayman again

For a little girl and her daddy

2006-12-27T15:11:00.000-07:00

They are always there even when you can't see them.

Beauty and the Beast

2006-12-27T14:10:00.000-07:00

Can I be your beast.

Not all Chestnut Mares are horses

2006-12-27T10:57:00.000-07:00

Once in a while, if you are very lucky, very lucky, you will chase a Chestnut Mare and finally catch her. This is when you realize that not all Chestnut Mares are horses and some Chestnut is auburn.

Chestnut Mare

Get this video and more at MySpace.com

Let's say I break into your house...

2006-11-26T07:33:00.000-07:00

A lady wrote the best letter in the Editorials in ages!! It explains things better than all the baloney you hear on TV.

Recently large demonstrations have taken place across the country protesting the fact that Congress is finally

addressing the issue of illegal immigration. Certain people are angry that the US might protect its own borders, might make it harder to sneak into this country and, once here, to stay indefinitely.

Let me see if I correctly understand the thinking behind these protests.

Let's say I break into your house. Let's say that when you discover me in your house, you insist that I leave. But I say, "I've made all the beds and washed the dishes and did the laundry and swept the floors; I've done all the things you don't like to do. I'm hard-working and honest (except for

when I broke into your house).

According to the protesters, not only must you let me stay, you must add me to your family's insurance plan, educate my kids, and provide other benefits to me and to my family (my husband will do your yard work because he too is hard-working and honest, except for that breaking in part).

If you try to call the police or force me out, I will call my friends who will picket your house carrying signs that proclaim my right to be there.

It's only fair, after all, because you have a nicer house than I do, and I'm just trying to better myself. I'm hard-working and honest, um, except for well, you know.

And what a deal it is for me!! I live in your house, contributing only a fraction of the cost of my keep, and there is nothing you can do about it&nb sp;without being accused of selfishness, prejudice and being an anti-housebreaker. Oh yeah, and I want you to learn my language so you can communicate with me.

Why can't people see how ridiculous this is?!

Only in America ....if you agree, pass it on (in English). Share it if you see the value of it as a good simile. If not blow it off along with your future Social Security funds.

But do you listen

2006-11-25T06:03:00.000-07:00

Recently a high school science teacher gave new invigorated meaning to the term brain dead. Now readers to these pages know I don’t hold teachers on the high pedestal that some do, especially in the public education arena. They seem to have an uncanny knack for filling your child’s head with crap. There are also a lot of parents out there that delight in giving the teachers the shovels.

In Virginia high-school science teacher was charged with breaking into a century-old funeral vault where 114 miners lost their lives, handling the remains of a corpse, and taking photographs of two students holding the bones inside the crypt. This just begs the question, “Mommy can I go with our teacher and dig around in an old crypt? Everyone else is doing it.”

Candace Longworth a 31 year old biology teacher, was charged with disturbing and defiling a dead person from a place of burial and two misdemeanor counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor. She was also charged with being completely brain dead; charges against the parents of the kids are pending the outcome of an IQ test. In defense of the parents, it must be stated that the kids probably told them they were going to a rib joint for some BBQ.

Candace or Candy Bones as she is affectionately known allowed at least one of the two teenage girls to hold the bones of a corpse found within the 122-year-old vault. A lawyer for Tazwell County was quoted as saying, the foray into the tomb was "just bizarre," and "not anything anyone would call school-related." I must disagree. It seems very appropriate given the nature of today’s public education. At least she didn’t have sex with the kids as far as I can tell.

The teens were charged as juveniles or being juveniles, it is hard to determine at this point. According to the report, the vault is partially below the surface in a cemetery built for 114 coal miners who died during an 1884 coalmine explosion in the town of Pocahontas.

See, if we would just increase taxes and get these schools more money they could buy their own bones and would not have to sneak into vaults to supplement their school supplies. This sounds like a teacher doing what so many are forced to do because of the lack of a good supply of bones.

Candy Bones was apparently also a cheerleading coach when she wasn’t rummaging around looking for some good ribs. She lost that job too. Give me an A, give me a S, give me another S. What’s that spell? Ass --- hole.

As a postscript, there is no truth to the rumor that she loaned her brain to John Kerry. At the time of this report, he is still without one if anyone would like to donate.

A real YAHOO.

2006-11-25T01:16:00.000-07:00

Thank you. If you have come here than you know that some idiot submitted numerous violations for questions I answered on Yahoo answers several months ago. I am in the middle of arguing with customer service whom I believe can't read, so I am not certain what the outcome of being reinstated will be. I will continue to annoy customer service as is my nature and in the meantime I will place posts here and update my friend's list to make it easier for you to return to 360 after visiting.

I will begin annoying people again momentarily

BBQ Ribs Anyone

2006-11-17T21:05:00.000-07:00

Headline news: Al Gore flies in to Australia to warn about global warming and Victoria gets snow in November.

So Mr. Alarmist continued with his supernatural ability to immediately cool down any place he tours including Tipper’s bed, has struck Mother Nature another blow. Earlier, thousands of people marched through central Sydney, ignoring wet and windy weather to protest against global warming. It appears to make no difference to these mindless saps that Australia's temperature this year is lower than last year's; a trend that may be continuing down under.
A week earlier Big Al gave another fear mongering filled speech on the dangers of global warming in New Zealand, just as it was emerging from one of its wettest and coldest winters on record. As the local newspapers report, “An unusually cold October has left Southland dairy farmers struggling.”

This apparently happens to the Gorester quite a lot. His effect on the climate was first noticed in Boston in 2004, when Gore was due to give a big speech in Boston on the imminent danger of the world frying. Presto, the city had its coldest temperatures in almost 50 years. Even John the traitor Kerry wore a heavy coat he bought with Teresa’s money.

Later that same year, Al gave a speech in New York and the city was greeted with near-record low temperatures. A lesser man would have licked his wounds and gone home, but Al has managed has the ability to turn hypocrisy into a living wage, far above minimum I may add. Since the big global warming scare of 1998, said to be the hottest year since the Middle Ages though one wonders how they obtained the measurements; the world's temperatures have fallen slightly and stayed there. In fact, the Artic icecap appears to be fighting a winning battle against Mr. Gore also as temperatures there have not only reversed their trend, but the caps are growing. Watch out for pissed off polar bears who had just recently sold off their heavy coats on Al’s advice.

I won’t speculate if Al Baby took a secret trip to the North Pole recently as anything is possible. However, in closing, I would like to point out another interesting tidbit of information. A Nobel Prize scientist has just released a study calling for more pollution in the atmosphere, more CO2, more pollutants. The reason? It seems that studies have show that as trees are destroyed by forest fires and deliberate burns, the local climate grows cooler. It also appears to make no difference if some environment nuts are tied to the trees before burning.

The reason according to the scientist is that the lack of tree foliage allows more sunlight to be reflected back into space thus cooling the planet. Anyone in favor of a really big BBQ and please don’t invite Al, we don’t need any snow on our ribs?

Theft Alert

2006-11-17T04:40:00.000-07:00

While visiting with my daughter last evening she informed me of a serious theft that has occurred of which even I was totally unaware. Upon learning of said theft I was speechless and felt slightly uneasy, it took a hug, and reassuring kiss from her to guarantee me the world was still okay. It seems some callous individual stole both Wednesday and Thursday. I had been certain I was dealing with Tuesday evening last night that it came as a complete shock that Friday was arriving in several hours.

She offered me beer and pizza, which I readily accepted to drown away my pain. I knew Thanksgiving was coming next week along with some houseguests, but I still had plenty of time. There was no need to find a dead turkey in the forest, pick some cranberries from the bog, and dig up some sweet potatoes, lots of time. So while eating my now second slice of pizza and imbibing my second beer my mind twisted and turned as I attempted to rationalize, my situation.

I looked up at my daughter as she offered a third beer with her outstretched tender hands and I saw the pained look on her face. It was the look of, “You’re really losing it dad.” It was hidden behind a smile so others would not see it, but I recognized the look immediately and was forced to nod in agreement. Gently scolding her when she asked if I wanted another slice for not placing mounds of pepperoni, sausage, and bacon on the pizza, I assisted her in raiding the refrigerator for still another beer.

It was then that the full impact of her devious ways hit me. In a voice that can only be described as humorous, angelic she asked if I could move the refrigerator to the garage as the new one was arriving tomorrow. Leaping to my own defense, I stated in no uncertain terms how I would drive into hell and put out the fires for her if she would only give me another hug. I felt myself searching immediately for a map as she did me even one better and heinously gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek.

Suspecting I had been foiled once again she informed me that I might have to drill a hole through the tile floor and run a water system for the new refrigerator before it was delivered. To mask my surprise I was forced to have still another beer. As she joined me, I was obligated to inquire why she never gained an ounce nor lost her advantage over me when we drank malt beverages. Rubbing my stomach in a move that can only be taken as a sign of compassionate, pain, and superiority, she informed me it was because she preferred broccoli on her pizza and because she was special. This was far too much for me to take, so I went about the task of moving the refrigerator in abject silence with only an occasional grunt.

Later as we stood by her front door and as I prepared to leave, the rains poured down in a practice session for the great flood. She stood holding me tightly and I followed her gaze to the rain gutters knowing that in my heart of heart I would have to climb up there tomorrow and clear them. While holding her I whispered, “Tomorrow really is Friday?” I could feel her head nod briefly and a giggle leave her lips just before I received the final deathblow kiss, “Yes it is, and I have some chores for you this weekend if you’re not doing anything.”

The rain masked my tears as I sauntered out into the storm.

Microwave 3 minutes

2006-11-16T11:41:00.000-07:00

This kind of stuff is going to get a lot of people killed. Political correctness warrants that tho shall not identify anyone least it gives some group a bad name, unless you are white and than we get photographs, religious history, name of their first born, marital issues complete with Viagra journals, crazy aunt in the attic and grades they got in elementary school, including all detentions with quotes by their kindergarten teacher, “I just knew little Ernie was going to grow up to be bad.”

Scanning the comic book section of the New York Times, which is the front page, I saw an itsy bitsy tiny little reference that made me look at several other newspapers. I searched and I searched and finally found another scant reference. An unemployed 34-year-old Dallas man was arrested at Detroit Metro Airport on Tuesday, carrying $78,883 in cash and a laptop computer containing mysterious files about cyanide and nuclear materials. I mean I knew that Detroit Tiger fans were upset, but YIKES!

Who is this Texan, could it be a relative of Cindy Sheehan preparing for a BBQ at her new ranch in Crawford. Nuclear material is always good to get those hard to start charcoals flaming - use it all the time (wash hands well before handing food). So reading a little further I found out this unemployed man (Well that seals it, it wasn’t lovely Cindy), agents asked him (confirmation of gender), if he had any cash to declare, he said he had $18,000. However, when agents checked his luggage, they found an additional $59,000.

Okay, so he liquidated all his assets and decided to travel the world looking for gainful employment. Makes sense. I was sure he was just some down on his luck Texas oilman looking to open the oil well a little wider with a small nuke so he could get more oil out, and you know those prairie dogs can be annoying, so that explains the cyanide. Now I can go to sleep without worry.

Content to put the article down, I happened to glance at his name, it was Sisayehiticha Dinssa. Err, I have known Texas oilmen, and they usually went by the name of Earl, Kit, Warren, and occasionally JR. Sisayehiticha? What the hell is a Sisayehiticha never mind a Dinssa? So now, I finished the article. It seems that when the agents scrolled through his laptop, they said they found the mysterious files. Mr. Dinssa (Hmm, mister?) told agents he was “interested” in learning about cyanide and nuclear materials. Well yeah, hell, I’m interested in hot peppers, but I don’t walk around with $78,000, fertilizer, and Napalm bomb files.

Federal Magistrate Judge Donald Scheer approved Assistant U.S. Attorney Leonid Feller’s request to detain Dinssa pending a detention hearing on Monday. Between now and then, Feller said, agents would try to find out more about him and the computer files. Yeah, that might be a good idea, you think? He is charged with concealing more than $10,000 in his luggage, which carries a maximum penalty of 5 years in prison, plus forfeiture of the money.

After an exhaustive search, I found out, he is from Ethiopia, which is a muslim country. Do you think this is relevant or is this just another starving Bono fan looking to make his way to a Bruce Springsteen antiwar concert? Cindy tells me that radiated mushrooms are good on ribs.

And the Survey Says...

2006-11-16T04:12:00.000-07:00

Saw a long stupid survey yesterday that among other dumb questions asked the following. “Which of the following ethnic groups do you most closely identify with?”

Your choices were Caucasian, Hispanic/Latino, African American, Asian, Multiracial, and other. Does this seem dumb to anyone but me? Let me first deal with their question. I suppose that with the exception of ‘other’ you can be a Caucasian that identified with African-American because you like, rap music, love fried chicken, or think Jessie Jackson isn’t a racist. Perhaps you are Japanese and identify with Hugo Chavez because he reminds you of the corrupt emperors of old or you are a multiracial moderate but you just can’t make up your mind so you identify with Caucasians.

What exactly is the point of that question? Wouldn’t it be far simpler to ask, which of the following groups are you part of? Notice, I left out ethnic, more later. Is it too much to ask for a direct question, are they afraid that they may be accused of being well, too direct. Perhaps it is the Chianti speaking but I don’t see how you would be one of the group members but identify with the other. Even if you did, what would they get out of the answer? Would they than target BET TV toward a bunch of Koreans grocery owners?

Let’s go to their choices and the reason I left out ethnic. If they had given a choice of Polish, Russian, Japanese, Jamaican, Irish, or Mexican than I could buy off on ethic identification, these choices are not ethnic.

They aren’t even cultural, which might give you Hispanic in extreme interpretations, possibility but not really African-American, but definitely not Caucasian, Asian or multiracial. They lumped political terms, races, continents and confused all together. I suppose they think that Chinese and Russians have a lot in common or Nigerians and urban youths or maybe even the Irish and the English. Again, no matter what you pick for an answer, what do they get out of it. Will they begin broadcasting Italian TV to southern Baptists?

Pity the poor Indians or Egyptians or the Polynesians or the Brazilians, they never get to participate in the survey. The survey by the way was conducted by the New York Times, which should explain everything.

Cloak of Invisibility

2006-11-15T14:56:00.000-07:00

In the last few days since the election, which was, all about getting out of Iraq and corruption of Republicans a strange thing has occurred that have made it onto page one news and lead stories in broadcasting. So this post is for all of you that thought you were getting a change in direction and a fresh face that would expose Bush’s failure in Iraq and bring about those who are pure of heart..
WABC News: Abramoff Reports to Prison; Officials Focus on Reid, Others. Abramoff apparently has named Harry Reid (Your new Senate Dumpocrap Majority leader) as one of 6 other Dumpocraps that will likely be swept into the ring of corruption faster than you can say I voted for them before I voted against them. This actually comes as no surprise to me as Harry Reid has been continually funneling money to his son’s law firms over the years for every conceivable government project. This is in addition to the phony corporation old Harry set up so he could buy property cheaply under the corporations name and sells it for over a million dollars.

USA Today: Middle East commander warns against deadline for Iraq pullout. General John Abizaid, the top U.S. commander in the Middle East, said today that, “setting a timetable to withdraw some U.S. troops from Iraq in four to six months would undermine the Iraqi government and boost sectarian violence. It would be interpreted as a withdrawal of U.S. support," testifying before the Senate Armed Services Committee.
CBS News Is Murtha Ethics Blight For Democrats. Murtha who voted against even the Dumpocraps own ethnics reform package was scaring even Dumpocraps, “Another thing to look for on the Murtha front in the 110th Congress is possible allegations that Murtha colluded with another member of Congress to prevent the Ethics Committee from pursuing allegations into his wrongdoing relating to Abscam, Davis reports.” Meanwhile Murtha is trading broadsides with Dumpocrap Steny H. Hoyer of Maryland. FOOD FIGHT!

Now you all know, I would never stoop and connect the dots on bias issues, but does anyone really believe these issues suddenly popped up out of a clear blue sky and that these news organizations did not know about them before the elections?

The New York Times, the Denver Post, Philadelphia Inquirer, Washington Post, the LA Times, the Chicago Tribune and news organizations all over the country are now running these tales of woe, as well as the on going corruption federal investigation against Bob Menendez of New Jersey. Judging by the smell, someone has apparently been doing something else with the New York Times besides wrapping dead fish in it. Do you think all these news outlets wrapped Dumpocraps with a cloaking device until after the elections?

In a totally unrelated story, Scientists are Reconstructing Portions of Neanderthal DNA and finding an awfully similar DNA strain linkage to Hillary Clinton.

Sweet Breads

2006-11-15T01:01:00.000-07:00

I would like you to perform brain surgery on me even though I realize that after 6 years of medical school, you don’t have a clue what you’re doing. You really have to wonder what would make someone this incredibly stupid but that is what the majority of you did. According to a very recent poll, more Americans rank Iraq as the top priority of the new Dumpocrap-controlled Congress, but nearly three out of five say the party does not have a plan to deal with the war. Does this make you wish there was a national IQ test for voters?

At least they got something right, the Dumpocraps don’t have a plan to deal with Iraq. Their plans are as follows amd you can check this by going to any of their web sites:

Cut off the funding - always a first rate way to get troops killed. (Ours)

Get really really mean with the new Iraq government - (Do something better or we are leaving)

Say we mean it out loud three times – sigh.

Send the troops off to some undisclosed island over the horizon. (The Kerry the traitor plan)

Get the UN involved and embrace the international community - Yawn

Hug a terrorist – my personal favorite

There are several iterations of the above plans, which basically involve combining some of these items into a COMPREHENSIVE plan. Okay, where does that leave us? It leaves us exactly where we are right now. I realize some kooks in their party will try to pass one of these options, but I have some doubts that they will get anywhere other than headline news one day, oblivion the next.

Troops will begin to get demoralized, terrorists will become even more emboldened, and we will have more loony protests in the streets, including taking children out of our well run public schools to wave posters most of them can’t read.

It is going to be an interesting two years because the presidential elections will be held then and no one will want to say or do anything in congress that will make them look like a whinny, too left wing or trying something that fails miserably. Well maybe the Murtha’s of the world, since they are veterans; we aren’t allowed to criticize them. Remember the Jersey Girls.

The Dumpocraps do have a little problem though and it isn’t conservatives, Republicans, or libertarians. It is the loonies that have been screaming at Bush for the last six years and now they will have a liberal congress that won’t listen to them anymore since they got power. It is sort of the same thing the Dumpocraps do to black voters every election cycle.

So relax my friends and wait to see the cannibal food fight. The left wing bloggers without a Republican congress to blame will soon begin to feed on their own. As nourishing as this may be, I still want a national IQ test for voters and than we can talk about sweet breads.

War Myths

2006-11-14T06:00:00.000-07:00

This weekend I came across an article that was so stunning in its idiotic and narcissistic tone that I felt compelled to write about the author, author may be too broad a term as I think more people read my blog than his books. The author before I start, is wanna be writer Edward W. Wood, Jr., a World War II veteran, veterans whom I normally have the utmost respect for, but this dip wad is a complete and utterly stupid person.

He was wounded during WWII at the age of 19 after an entire day and a half in battle, which apparently gives him the right to be a complete moron. He writes about war and politics; think John the traitor Kerry and Vietnam and curl it back to WWII. This post may be a little long for some of you but I can’t help it. So relax, have some wine and than have some more wine.

In his self-proclaimed fantasy titled appropriately “Getting past the myths of war,” he begins by giving us an insight into his brain or lack thereof. The trip inside is scary since it is dark in there and mostly devoid of any substantial matter. He begins our journey into his netherworld of self-indulgence by saying, “The problem with America in its struggle with terrorism is one we never talk of: our dedication - some would say addiction - to the myths of World War II.”

Yes little Eddie, I am sure that is our problem. These myths as you call them and our dedication to them is what flew those planes into the World Trade Center, the Pentagon and a field in Pennsylvania. Our lack of talking about these myths is what caused so many Americans to force flight 93 down knowing they were going to die. I remember clearly just the other day saying, gee, if it weren’t for the myths of WWII, our struggle against terrorism would be so much easier.

Proving his tight grasp on history is secure, he goes on to say, “From our colonial wars, our revolution, our wars with Native Americans, our Civil War, our wars of expansion in 1846 and 1898 and our victory in World War I, we inherited war as a path to national identity. Our stunning triumph in World War II gave war its mythical and glorious aspect in our minds.”

Are you getting a clearer picture now? Our inheritance is war and our victory in WWII was stunning. Let me say a few things little Eddie before you reveal some more of your astonishing historical grasp of history. What we inherited was not war, but peace, what we inherited was freedom and liberty paid for with the blood of our fathers and grandfathers so morons such as you could debase their efforts. Let me also say I am a Native American, I was born here, and I don’t recall fighting against this country, perhaps you were referring to the Apache who murdered and raped our women, burned our homes and tortured our men, just a thought. Let me also tell you since you were probably unconscious at the time that our victory in WWII was not stunning, it was foretold the moment we entered the war because we are that good. It was also paid for with blood, suffering, death, and courage.

Continuing to impress with his knowledge of both historical and current events, little Eddie pontificates further, “In spite of the stalemate in the Korean War, the brutal failure of the war in Vietnam and now the quagmire in Iraq - which even its advocates admit is not going well - the myths of that war more than 60 years ago continue to possess us and determine the way we relate to the rest of the world.” The stalemate in Korea was only because a politician would not let McArthur smash the communists and you have to admit South Korea has a damn good level of freedom today because of the stalemate while North Korea can’t feed its own people.

Vietnam was not a brutal failure, we were winning until politicians with a mindset like yours got involved and Iraq is not a quagmire no matter how much your liberal friends in the media portray it. However, it is your myths that interest me more than you obvious grasp of historical and current events.

You state that, “Severely wounded at age 19 in that war (yes you told us already), I have watched those myths slowly soften its harsh horror. Out of our stunning victory in 1945 we have come to believe in the following myths”: Let us look at your myths because they certainly aren’t ours.

Your myth # 1: War is good.
“Our defeat of Hitler and Hirohito and the "evil" that their nations inflicted on the world was complete. In that victory, continental America was never in danger of serious attack and its economy exploded, ending the Great Depression of the 1930s. World War II became a "good" to most Americans who never suffered from its horror.” I have heard crap in my time, but you seem hell bent on winning first prize in the big crap on yourself contest I am sponsoring next week.

First of all, it is interesting that you place quotes around the word evil. I take it from that little remark that you approve of wholesale slaughter of millions of Jews, Polish and Russians by Germany, or is perhaps to the rape, torture and beheadings by the Japanese you refer? As to war becoming “good” to most Americans, it appears it is good to you since after your first wife dumped you, you have been trying, dismally I might add, to earn a living off of war. Other than you, I really can’t recall a single American saying or thinking war is good. War may be necessary, but good is not a word I would attach to it.

Your myth #2: World War II was fought by the Greatest Generation.
You have this thing about Tom Brokow don’t you. “We came to believe that the generation which won the war had a kind of nobility not known to previous or later generations. It defeated that monstrous "evil" that so threatened the world.” After ignored your quoted evil again, I will tell you that they were the greatest generation. Many of our fathers and grandfathers came from this generation and I can tell you in no uncertain terms, mine were great and better than I. Looking at your family tree, so were yours, which must be why they disowned you. Men and women, boys and girls of America defeated this monstrous evil and make no mistake; they did not think war was good and that evil needed quotes.

Your myth #3: We won World War II largely on our own.
“Our literature and our movies seldom acknowledge the contribution of other nations to the victory in 1945. We believe our soldiers, sailors, airmen, and Marines largely won that war without much allied support.” Eddie, I remember watching war movies at an early age, Combat with Frenchie, the Philippino’s during the Pacific war, the Brits, and even the French (gag) underground helping out in their own ways. I recall the Australians, the Belgium’s and the Russians, but you know what else I remember. The collective world was getting its ass kicked before we got in there and cleaned clock.

Your myth #4: When evil lies in others, war is the only means to justice.
“The shocking discovery of the camps of the Holocaust at the end of that war showed us that absolute evil existed. The failure to halt that barbarity lay in those in Britain and France who appeased Hitler in the 1930s. There must be no appeasement, no mercy shown to enemy civilians or soldiers.” Gee wiz Eddie, no quotes around evil? Did you forget them in your hurry to spew forth tripe? Let me say this about your myth, when evil lies in others, war is sometimes the only answer, Chamberlain learned about talking to Hitler and we were talking with the Japanese when they attacked us. One other thing, war is not about justice, it is about winning.

Now since this myth crap is getting long, I will finish your garbage in a second post. I do have a question for you little Eddie, have you sold more than three books? There are some liberals who will buy just about anything, just look at the success of Michael Moore.

Cannibalism

2006-11-12T17:14:00.000-07:00

Proving once again that liberals eat their own we travel to that city of tolerance and gaydom on the bay San Francisco. You may recall the Scott McKenzie song about wearing flowers in your hair, which was an anthem for the times and the unofficial anthem of the Monterey Pop Festival during the Summer of Love in 1967. The opening line goes something like this, “If you’re going to San Francisco, be sure to wear some duct tape on your lips...”

In this city, that Grace Slick said was built on rock and roll, well not really, but I like her. They have these people things that they call supervisors. In normal towns these dip wads are called city council members or freeloaders, but in San Francisco, they call them supervisors because they are superior to the rest of us. In this haven of free speech, you cannot criticize a supervisor unless you want to deal with them trying to get you fired for speaking freely. Anyway, stop trying to figure this out, it makes perfect sense in San Francisco.

A week or two ago a radio talk-show host by the name of Pete Wilson made some comments about a child born to Supervisor Bevan Dufty, who is gay, and Rebecca Goldfader, who is a lesbian (don’t get me started). As Wilson put it rather clearly, a baby is “not an experiment. It is not an opportunity to see how far you can carry your views on parenting, alternative lifestyles, or diversity in family structures.” Hmmm, whatever was he talking about? He wasn’t done, he also said, “Look around you, folks. You think the high divorce rate in this country has been, generally speaking, good for kids. So, why not start out divorced? See if that'll work.” Can you feel the dead silence that oozed across San Francisco in about three nano-seconds?

Now before you think that Wilson is a right wing conservative Christian nut job that is forever putting down homosexuals think again. He supports same-sex marriage and gay parenting. He is against the war in Iraq and isn’t what one would call a traditional conservative or a libertarian by any perverted stretch of the imagination. He is as liberal as the rest of the fruit flies that inhabit that dock on the bay. Well it doesn't matter, doesn’t matter one bit. Liberals will eat their own and ask for a generous helping of seconds. Supervisors Tom Ammiano, Chris Daly, Ross Mirkarimi, and Aaron Peskin held a press conference (surprise) at which they called Wilson “homophobic” and demanded that he resign his job.

Mr. Dufty the husband/father/guy/daddy/gay wrote in an e-mail to Wilson. I do not want you to “resign or lose your position over this incident.” A shell shocked Wilson marveled that Dufty “showed more class than anyone else in this.” It is highly unlikely that Duffy or any of the superiors, I mean supervisors, even knows what class is unless it is a place to distribute condoms, but we can talk about class in another post.

Wilson has of course apologized, well sort of, not for his misgivings about parenting and children, but for using “inappropriate” and overly personal language. Imagine his surprise when the liberal way of apologizing by speaking out of both sides of your mouth hasn’t really worked this time. You remember John the traitor Kerry apologizing recently to “people that may have misunderstood this comments.” No John Boy we did not.

You see the double jobber the hut Wilson also anchors ABC7 TV news in San Francisco. California Assemblyman Mark Leno did not call on Wilson to resign and now says, because Wilson has apologized, it is time to move on. Still he continued, whether “it is inappropriate for Wilson to be wearing those two hats.” As opposed to two faces like Leno one would imagine, that Wilson couldn’t be a “loose cannon” on the radio and “an impartial anchorman.”

Then again, no one complained about the two hats before. Wilson has opposed the war in Iraq, and they weren't wringing their hands then about his credibility. I figure this is okay since every other TV talking head on ABC is a left wing kook so what is one more.

Judith Appel, executive director of the alternative-family Our Family Coalition, attended the anti-Wilson event as it provided an “opportunity” to highlight alternative families with “adults who love their children.” Organizations like NAMBLA, however, she was silent on whether Wilson should lose his job. Doesn’t make your heart warm to see an anti-rally held for a liberal?

Deliberately ignoring Wilson's point, Superior Ammiano accused the talk-show host of trying to "dehumanize a week-old baby.” He declared that Wilson's "manhood is threatened.” Noting that he would never criticize Wilson's offspring, Ammiano added, "I would never ask how much grunting and sweating there was -- and God knows it probably it didn't last very long -- at that kid's conception.” Can you feel the love!! Would you like some fine BBQ sauce with that neck bone, good for sucking!!

Leno, who like Ammiano is gay, said, "I'm not going to criticize those supervisors.” As he sees it, San Francisco and gays are "the aggrieved party. We're the ones who are getting beaten up.” Ammiano accused Wilson of "abuse of privilege," and not to be outdone Superior Peskin cited "abuses" of power."

Except in this case, gays and San Francisco superiors are in power, and they're trying to get a man fired for expressing views they don't like. They clearly don't appreciate the beauty of free speech: When you don't like what someone says, you talk back. You don't silence dissenters, unless you are afraid what they say is true.

If Superior Ammiano wanted to send a message, that when the gay lobby has power, straight Americans will enjoy less freedom, he could not have done a better job. Hush children, I think I can hear Nancy Pelosi singing right now.

If you are going to San Francisco,
Be sure to wear some duct tape on your lips
If you are going to San Francisco,
You're gonna meet some intolerant people there

For those who come to San Francisco,
Summertime will be a firing-in there
In the streets of San Francisco
Gentle people with duct tape on their lips

All across the nation,
Such a strange vibrator
People in motion
There's a whole generation
With a new explanation
People intolerant, people intolerant

For those who come to San Francisco,
Be sure to wear some duct tape on your lips
If you come to San Francisco,
Summertime will be a firing-in there

If you come to San Francisco,
Summertime will be a firing-in there

I Got Gas

2006-11-11T23:29:00.000-07:00

I went outside this morning and it was well over 60 degrees, beautiful weather, balmy breezes, just the kind of weather that makes me nostalgic for global warming. As the last of the leaves are falling and decomposing into rich organic material so I can grow even bigger and hotter hot peppers next spring, I immediately became concerned over the amount of CO2 that was being released to satisfy my craving for hot peppers.

Actually, it is exactly CO2 that is blamed for most of the greenhouse gases and thus the villain we should all be concerned about, let’s look at this Inconvenient Truth or Carbon Dioxide’s effect on temperature. I will do my best to keep this from being a science lesson for those of you who recently escaped the education system, so every time I mention CO2 just breathe out and expel those bad gases into our pristine environment. We don’t want this turning into another Venus or something.

The relationship between global temperature and carbon dioxide (CO2), on which the entire global warming scare is founded, is not as simple as they would have you believe. Do not let them load you up with a bunch of horse turds about how much is being added and that we need to slow it down. You see they want you to believe something that has the sound of truth to it, when it doesn’t have any. Each and every molecule (those tiny things you can’t see) of CO2 added to the atmosphere contributes less to warming than the previous one.

So while 1 + 1 = 2, it really isn’t when it comes to global warming. Confused? They want you to be. Think of it this way. If you get 15 miles per gallon on a gallon of gasoline, would you be able to drive exactly 30 miles on two gallons? The answer is no, because you have to subtract the weight of the extra gasoline that is added to the car’s weight to calculate the exact mileage, as you add more gas the vehicle becomes heavier and you get less mileage per gallon. Well CO2 works in a similar fashion.

Perhaps you would like another example that is even easier to understand, yes. Good. If you take an empty bucket that holds a gallon of liquid and pour in one gallon of water you have a full bucket. If you pour in a second gallon, is the bucket fuller or are your shoes very wet? Try this experiment on your new living room rug when you get home.

Evidence from plant fossil-remains suggest to us that there was as much CO2 in the atmosphere about 11,000 years ago as there is today. So where does it go and if decomposing, animals and plants add CO2 and 1+1=2 that we would be living in almost a pure CO2 atmosphere after so many millions of years wouldn’t we. Cough, cough. I’m thinking here that since we are looking at plant fossils, than we can’t really calculate a moment by moment environmental warming as some web sites counters might wish you to believe. Besides, if the amount of CO2 were about the same as 11,000 years ago we would need one damn accurate counter. I’m not sure my watch is that accurate.

Throughout our little study, you need to keep another little Inconvenient Truth in mind. You will hear that the United States is the largest producer of CO2 of all nations and that we need to do something and do it now. The reason we are the largest producer isn’t because we are really really mean, it is because our economy is the largest, so to reduce our CO2 we need to make our economy somewhat smaller, say like approximately the GNP of Chad, that economic powerhouse of Africa.

In a future post I will explain to you climate sensitivity which takes the CO2 and does something with it. It is quite boring to read, but I promise I will make it a little more interesting when I get around to it. The bottom line is that CO2 temperatures increases in the atmosphere aren’t linear. That is an important sounding way of saying, it gets to a certain point and than the hell with it, it sort of up chucks.

There are so many areas to ridicule in the global warming arena that I can amuse you for weeks; but, I will intersperse global warming rubbish with other things that amuse me even more. So until next time, stop breathing so much.

Coat Drive Alert

2006-11-11T04:39:00.000-07:00

As the holidays approach, I try to do good for my fellow man, but sometimes things don’t go exactly as you would like. In a very disappointing development recently, scientists have declared that no life exists on the Saturn moon Titan. Titan, the largest moon in the solar system has intrigued scientists and me for years because of its dense atmosphere. The recent probe Huygens confirmed that the moon’s atmosphere is primary nitrogen and methane, fart gas for short. I had held out hope that we had finally found a place to send senate Dumpocraps where they would feel at home. Unfortunately, its surface temperature is about minus 180 Celsius and I am not the heartless and callous conservative some think I am.

Titan would have proved an ideal location to provide a home for them, as there is no Iraq, no global warming, and no shortage of gas, natural or otherwise. Since 9/11, the Dumpocraps senators have let more methane escape their body orifices than any other time in history and the damage they were doing to our own world has been very near incalculable.

On Titan, a world rich in methane exists where they would have felt very much at home. I haven’t given up hope though and in the spirit of helping, my fellow man I have devised a solution that even the most liberal among you would approve. I am starting a coat drive to help keep them warm upon their arrival. If anyone has a used coat and would like to donate it, please register in the comment field and I will send you instructions where to drop off your donation in Washington. I am furiously looking into a meals-on-wheels program for congressional house Dumpocraps that would be in keeping with my environmentally safe nature. The planet Mercury is looking promising because of the natural radiant heat.

Remember each coat you send can provide some much-needed warmth to a Dumpocraptic senator, so please have a heart, and donate today.

Language Arts

2006-11-10T04:32:00.000-07:00

A language art, a pretty phase, is the latest attempt to screw around with English. You remember English, those dry grammar rules, incoherent spelling tricks, term papers, compositions, sentence diagrams and such. Somewhere between valley girls and the “like” generation, English became something to ignore. Kids today are no longer taught these arcane rules, or pronunciation, penmanship and proper word usage.

English was once considered the hardest language to learn, but no more. If you don’t know the rules, you have two choices today. The first choice is to speak louder. Louder works because it usually involves shouting, name-calling, and general intimidation. Who would want to correct someone who is shouting at you, “Hey muter f…er” “Eh, just a minute young lady, the correct pronunciation is mother.”

The second choice is to make it up as you go. This works because your peers will generally consider you a trendsetter or someone in the know of the latest catch phases. Your elders will ignore you as they just assume you are engaging in the latest teen trend. The “Like” generation has taken this to a new art form. “I was like really mad so I like said to him he never called me like he said he would.”

It amazes me that some of the best speakers of English today are from a foreign land. This is simply because they practice the language, not because they are intrinsically better. Look at a typical homework assignment from today’s public schools.

A spelling assignment one day, a fill in the blank story the next. A review of a book that should never have seen a publisher and than throw in a good dash of self-esteem. This means, do not offend anyone who cannot read or write properly. Do not criticize someone who speaks with the wrong pronunciation or make fun of gutter language.

We are raising a nation of illiterate children, who will become illiterate adults. We have no expectations of them, we do not challenge them, and we do not hurt their feelings. You know where this all leads if you are a long time reader of my posts. It leads to stupid voters, people who believe the latest news sound bite, it leads to liberalism.

In order to take back this nation, we first have a difficult job of educating people.

ADHD

2006-11-08T23:26:00.000-07:00

I believe it is time to leave politics behind while it all sorts itself out and talk of more rational things such as; education, history, culture, religion, and science. What am I talking about; these things tend to get irrational too. Anyway, they are certainly more rational than politics at least.

Before you continue, I should warn you that I have been diagnosed as possibly having moderate ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), my voices were still hung over from the elections so they escaped detection. The Center for Disease Control estimates 4.4 million youth ages 4-17 have been diagnosed with ADHD by a healthcare professional (ever wonder what that means? You would think they would say physician if they meant a real doctor), and as of 2003, 2.5 million youth ages 4-17 are currently receiving medication treatment for the disorder. Does this scare you? It should.

In 1998 at the National Institutes of Health Consensus on ADHD, the following statement was issued: "We do not have an independent, valid test for ADHD, and there is no data to indicate that ADHD is due to a brain malfunction.” In other words, we guess a lot and use your children to sell drugs and experiments, besides the public schools are on our side.

Labels like ADHD, ADD, ODD, LD etc are in no sense true diseases. There are no reliable diagnostic methods. Psychiatrists cannot even agree among themselves about how to diagnose ADD/ ADHD. In addition, your child needs to, be put on a medication that is a close cousin to amphetamine (Speed dude) because of the ADHD label.

Did you know that schools receive additional money from state and federal government for every child labeled and drugged? This clearly demonstrates a possible "financial incentive" for schools to label and drug children. It also backs up the alarming rise/increase in the labeling and drugging that has taken place in the last decade within our schools. I will wait for a later post to talk about the drugged teachers.

Did you know that parents receiving welfare money from the government can get additional funds for every child that they have labeled and drugged? In this way, many welfare parents (many times single mothers) are reeled into the drugging by these financial incentives waved in front of them in hard times, making lifestyle changes possible such as searching for other government handouts.

Does it make you wonder how most of us went through our younger years without a trace of ADHD, millions and millions of kids, were there really that many of us that were borderline crazy (I wasn’t asking for an answer). Any child that does not follow the school rules, that occasionally acts up in class that is bored to tears at the curriculum of self-esteem and diversity nonsense, is at risk of this diagnoses. You as a parent are at risk at being labeled a bad parent if you don’t go along with the school officials.

To show you the absurdity of the testing, I took a test easily found on the internet. I will show you my answers and final score. So that you can judge for yourself if I am really crazy, I placed in parentheses my interpretation of the question and the reason for my answer.

1. At home, work, or school, I find my mind wandering from tasks that are uninteresting or difficult.

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot (Who the hell keeps focused on dull crap? Why not separate uninteresting from difficult)
Very much

2. I find it difficult to read written material unless it is very interesting or very easy. (Same mumbo-jumbo. Separate very interesting from very easy and you get different results)

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot (Yes we love to read tripe such as the NY Times – boring)
Very much

3. Especially in groups, I find it hard to stay focused on what is being said in conversations.

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot (Because most group conversations are garbage and lead nowhere.)
Very much

4. I have a quick temper... a short fuse. (This test is an example)

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately (Only because I turned off the main stream news report)
Quite a lot
Very much

5. I am irritable, and get upset by minor annoyances.

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat (I heard from too many liberals today)
Moderately
Quite a lot
Very much

6. I say things without thinking, and later regret having said them.

Not at all (Otherwise I wouldn’t have said them)
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot
Very much

7. I make quick decisions without thinking enough about their possible bad results.

Not at all (Ditto)
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot
Very much

8. My relationships with people are made difficult by my tendency to talk first and think later. (the presumption is your relationships are difficult)

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot
Very much

9. My moods have highs and lows. (It is called normal emotions)

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot
Very much

10. I have trouble planning in what order to do a series of tasks or activities.

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately (I can’t decide whether to get the boring stuff done first or put it off until it goes away)
Quite a lot
Very much

11. I easily become upset.

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately (Only when listening to liberals)
Quite a lot
Very much

12. I seem to be thin skinned and many things upset me. (Seemed to be by whom?)

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot
Very much

13. I almost always am on the go.

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat (I admit I have slowed down some, but god, I’m getting older)
Moderately
Quite a lot
Very much

14. I am more comfortable when moving than when sitting still.

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot
Very much (It commands more attention when I speak)

15. In conversations, I start to answer questions before the questions have been fully asked.

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot
Very much (I already know the answers, why wait?)

16. I usually work on more than one project at a time, and fail to finish many of them.

Not at all
Just a little (No I prefer to be an obsessive compulsive)
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot
Very much

17. There is a lot of "static" or "chatter" in my head. (earth to doctor – voices are telling me you should not be a doctor)

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot
Very much

18. Even when sitting quietly, I am usually moving my hands or feet.

Not at all (unless there is a really good song on the radio)
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot
Very much

19. In group activities it is hard for me to wait my turn.

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat (I have no patience for banal chit-chat)
Moderately
Quite a lot
Very much

20. My mind gets so cluttered that it is hard for it to function.

Not at all ( I multitask very well thank you)
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot
Very much

21. My thoughts bounce around as if my mind is a pinball machine.

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot
Very much (So much to say, so little time)

22. My brain feels as if it is a television set with all the channels going at once.

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot (this is why we are able to carry on several conversations at once)
Very much

23. I am unable to stop daydreaming.

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately (I dream of a day that children will be judged on the merit of their abilities rather than the color of their drugs)
Quite a lot
Very much

24. I am distressed by the disorganized way my brain works. (Who accused us of being disorganized, tell me who. Well maybe the wife)

Not at all
Just a little
Somewhat
Moderately
Quite a lot

Very much

S C O R E S

If you scored...	You may have...
70 & up 50 – 69 (I got 58) 35 - 49 25 - 34 0 - 24	Adult ADD or ADHD Moderate ADD or ADHD Mild ADD or ADHD Borderline ADD No ADD likely

You appear to be suffering from a moderate amount of attention and concentration difficulties according to your responses to this self-report questionnaire. You should not take this as a diagnosis of any sort, or a recommendation for treatment. However, if would be advisable and likely beneficial for you to seek further diagnosis from a trained mental health professional (remember not a doctor) soon to rule out a possible attention disorder. Yeah right as soon as I can pay attention to this garbage a moment longer.

More garbage, more ruined children.

Bringing their tails behind them

2006-11-08T06:30:00.000-07:00

The Republican Party is like little Bo Peep. It has lost its way and doesn’t know how to find itself. When they run on conservative values and actually, govern on conservative values, they win. The problems of this current crop of apologists and pending hounds are pathetic and legion. They raise spending to astronomical heights, they fail their president time after time, and they run like hell whenever a Democrap calls them names. Racist, homophobic, cruel, and uncaring. They themselves only seem to speak out on one of a few issues, I hate the troops being killed by the President’s insistence on following Rumsfeld, and wow, we didn’t know we had sex scandals in our party.

Let me begin my whining, yes conservatives can whine too, about some of the things I absolutely hate about Republicans. For those few of you that defend them right or wrong, I will say, THEY STOLE THE ELECTION. I WANT A RECOUNT. THE NEWS MEDIA IS TO BLAME. Feel better now? The Dumpocraps did all those things because Republicans allowed it. Did you actually expect them to play fair? I heard so many Republicans last evening complaining about Iraq and about Bush; it was nauseating. You know what? Bush wasn’t running. The Iraq war will continue even if Dumpocraps capture both houses. Idiots and buffoons.

The economy is the best it has ever been, employment is at an all time low, and the country is safe in time of war. Exactly what were you hoping to change by staying home, by bad mouthing Bush, by voting for anyone in the Dumpocrap party? I take it back, you are not idiots and buffoons, and you are actually IDIOTS AND BUFFOONS. I do not consider myself Republican, I consider myself sane (well mostly), Conservative – very Libertarian if you must, Traditionalist and did I mention very HANDSOME.

I vote for Republicans because they are less distasteful than Dumpocraps. Isn’t that special. Well, so do most readers here, but now I have to listen to liberal idiots (sorry, being redundant again) harp about their lack of agenda and Bush sniping for the next two years. I need some Demerol. Next thing you know I will consider moving to France.

In 1994, the Republicans stood up and said this is what we are about and they won. They did not apologize, okay very much anyway. When they failed to support Newt, they began their downfall. What did Newt do that was so bad, nothing. Hillary did exactly the same and worse and she is sitting in the senate because Dumpocraps ignored all allegations and don’t give me the crap about the liberal media. Dumpocraps stand behind the most heinous statements, the most horrendous behavior and they win. Republicans run like little girlie men and they lose.

I don’t think Republicans should say the Dumpocraps are soft on crime or the war on terror. I believe they should say they are cowards and traitors using those words. Every Republican that misuses or breaks the public trust should be publicly hung and instantly replaced with someone even more conservative and than trot out the crimes of Dumpocraps.

I believe the Republicans should go after and prosecute every single leak of national security information by the same afternoon and either execute or put the traitor in prison for life with no parole, senator or editor or Mister no body.

I believe the Republicans should publicly ridicule every stupid idea the Dumpocraps put forth with facts and figures with a clear demonstration of what a complete moron the Dumpocrap truly is.

I believe that abortion, global warming, the UN, terror, and Islam should be reduced to 30-second sound bites and run at least weekly on every station.

I believe that Republicans should push through term limits for all congressional members with no grandfather clause and no apologies.

I believe I’m going to take my Demerol.

Little Bo peep has lost her sheep
And doesn't know where to find them.
Leave them alone and they'll come home,
Bringing their tails behind them.
Little Bo peep fell fast asleep
And dreamt she heard them bleating,
But when she awoke, she found it a joke,
For they were all still fleeting.
Then up she took her little crook
Determined for to find them.
She found them indeed, but it made her heart bleed,
For they left their tails behind them.
It happened one day, as Bo peep did stray
Into a meadow hard by,
There she espied their tails side by side
All hung on a tree to dry.
She heaved a sigh, and wiped her eye,
And over the hillocks went rambling,
And tried what she could,
As a shepherdess should,
To tack again each to its lambkin.

Witless in America

2006-11-08T00:58:00.000-07:00

In a dastardly turn of events it appears that, the Republicans have lost control of the House and so has Kevin Federline. Britney Spears in apparently the first sane thing she has done in several years has filed for divorce from the 15 minutes of fame wanna be. Never having been a fan of Spear’s music I still feel this half dim wit has received some horrible advice since beginning her career outside of Mickey Mouse. I had hoped that she would do the right thing and leave triple quarter wit and marry Donald Duck, but Donald is presently engaged to Daisy so that ain’t going to happen.

In an equally troubling tale over in London, I mean down in London, well okay London Kentucky another wit loss champion died from snake bites incurred during church services. The woman, messing around with something she clearly had no reason to be handling, was bit, she died. Rumors are still circulating that even though dead, she still remained stupid.

So what will now change in the United States of witless voters? After performing exhaustive research and interviewing a broad sample of the American public tonight, namely my brother the following will occur with startling speed by tomorrow morning and continue until the next election, nothing.

Embryonic stem cell research with the election of a Democrap will now produce a cure for Michael J. Fox by late this afternoon and in an amazing development, Christopher Reed will be dug up and cured of paralysis. It may take until Thursday morning, but I expect all other diseases known to mankind to be eliminated by this research.

The minimum wage seems poised to be raised to about $7 in a clear hoopla for supporters of the various iterations of the bill. However, what some employees making minimum wage failed to realize is that this is not the minimum wage at all. Beginning tomorrow employers will begin to examine which of their current minimum wage employees will leave their firms to pay for those getting the raise. The minimum wage for those leaving will soon be exposed as zero dollars per hour.

Way up in Michigan, a local school has pulled the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn because one girl in the class was sensitive to the story. Using period of the times language, Mark Twain used words and language to portray a slave as slightly uneducated but also worldly. They are now looking into whether to pull all math books from the same school, as it appears one of the boys in fifth grade was offended by the hard work involved in learning multiplication. Because of this breaking story we now know that there is a black girl in the class, the story has remained as it was for 120 years and that Taylor School District is made up of morons.

In Pennsylvania, a federal judge has blocked the arrests of illegal wetbacks by saying in perfect logic that arresting these criminals would force some businesses that cater to them to close. I also understand he will soon be looking at past and future arrests of arsonists, as he believes their arrest causes them to engage in other lines of employment for which they may not be qualified such as the construction of license plates.

In another heart-wrenching story, an Indian college in Californian is thinking it may have to close its doors. It seems the current student body of 6 students has been drifting away and calls to the college have remained unanswered, but that is because they cannot afford to pay for their one telephone on campus. While the school administration is franticly looking at ways to keep the school, open, cooler minds were looking into whether any of the school administration ever had one lick of brains.

In perhaps the most amazing display of ignorance during the evening voters who believed the election over will find that 4PM EST that campaigns for the presidency in 2008 will have begun because they ignore implementing strict term limits.

Vote Early - Vote Often

2006-11-07T03:33:00.000-07:00

Today may be the day I have to begin pestering democratic congressional representatives with such inquires as “Why haven’t you done more to end world poverty yet”, “the earth is getting warmer today when are you going to stop it,” and of course, “Why haven’t you brought more blacks into your party leadership yet.” I have no idea if the Democraps will win control of congress today, but I do know a few other things. I know if they do it will be the first day that they begin breaking every promise they made. I know they will begin to try to raise our taxes. I know they will begin to endanger this country. I do know that Bush will finally find his veto pen.

Democrats criticized Republicans as stewards of a stale status quo; you know the status quo like no attacks on America, thriving economies and low unemployment. Status quo ain’t necessarily bad. Billy Bob the rapist was running about trolling for dollars and pesos for his legacy. I sent him a brief note reminding him; his legacy has already been burned in the American consciousness as only the second worse president in US history and why couldn’t he even do that right. To be beat by Jimmy the peanut famer in anything takes some practice.

Billy Bob the rapist even had the nerve to yell about the house page scandal, however, I did ask him if it was because he never thought of fully developing this farm system of future interns and dress stain removers. In a moment of clarity, I remembered to cc his errant wife on all my correspondence.

I also was thoughtful to send Republican gubernatorial candidate Charlie Crist an encouraging note for skipped the presidential rally in Pensacola, Fla., to make a speech of his own hundreds of miles away. I figured I was the only one to attend his dog and pony show so I let him know that I hoped he lost big time and would email his concession speech to Michael Moore if he did since Michael is looking for a new comedy entitled Bowing for President Disrespecters.

I did manage to send Senator Hillary Rotten Clinton a note to ask her if I could have her excess campaign funds to help feed my village. I am under no illusions that she will do anything but trounce her opponent in we never met an idiot we won’t vote for New York State. I also added that she should show her compassion, return to Hope Arknsas, and stop depriving the village of its idiot.

Similarly I requested of Eliot Spitzer, the Democratic candidate for governor in Nuevo York if he could help me sue the heck out my neighbor’s child lemonade stand as I felt she was engaged in insider lemon trading and gaining unfair advantage over my “Learn Medicare fraud for fun and profit” booth situated right down the street.

Senator Chucky Cheese Schumer of New York, chairman of the Peoples Democratic Republic and news junkie said, “"We have never said we're going to take control of the Senate. We have said we're on the edge. That's where we are." I did send him a note of encouragement also. Praising him for admitting that he is right on the edge. It takes a big man to admit he has a problem just before he is committed for his mental illness.

In a rare gaffe, Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi was hailed as ready to become the first woman speaker in history if Democrats win. I was forced to correct the news outlet as she may be poised to become a house speaker, but she was certainly not a woman.

Joe Lieberman is appearing set to beat Ned Lamont, the Moveon.org candidate with an ugly stick running as an independent after the liberal beating he took for supporting the troops and the war in Iraq, giving lie to the notion that this country is vehemently opposed to Iraq even in Democrap Connecticut. Ned, a recently former JPMorganChase employee did however make JPMorganChase employees very happy by leaving the firm where he was as well liked as a Value Share stock award pegged to the strike cost of the Hope Diamond.

"The Democrats want to raise taxes when you're born, when you're working, when you retire and when you die," Bush said in Florida. "In other words, the Democrats' philosophy is this: 'If it breathes, tax it. And if it stops breathing, find their children, tax them.” Billy Bob the rapist smiled as he considered this entirely new means of financing his legacy while the thought of finding children to enroll in his private intern program left him positively ecstatic.

Campaigning in Missouri, Democratic senatorial wannabe Claire McCaskill said, "There's nothing to that allegation," she replied. "We're going to cut taxes for the middle class and retarget the upper class,” though she specifically wanted to make it clear that she considered middle class anyone earning below the poverty line.

As he has repeatedly, the president attacked Democraps for their position on the war in Iraq. "Oh, they've got some ideas. Some of them say, 'get out right now.’ Some of them say, 'get out at a fixed date,' even though the job hasn't been done. One of them said, 'let's move our troops to an island some 5,000 away.'" John the traitor Kerry vacationing in France could not be reached for comment.

White House press secretary Tony Snow went even further in
criticizing possible Democratic approaches to Iraq. In an interview with conservative talk-radio personality Rush Limbaugh, Snow said, "We do, quote, 'phased redeployment,' what we do is we invite a whole lot more September 11ths." Clinton, the former president, linguistic expert and Shout It Out tester, provided a rebuttal from a stage in Rochester, N.Y.

"On this 'stay the course in Iraq' deal, they say we're the cut-and-run crowd," he said. "These people don't look like cut and run to me," he said, gesturing to former Sen. Max Cleland, a triple amputee from war wounds suffered while he was juggling grenades for friends and family in Vietnam a generation ago. Maxwell Not so Smart Cleland had forgotten the military training that empathized, don’t screw around with grenades, they are not toys. Ever the fun lover, he was pretending they were water balloons while sitting around the campfire-telling raise your taxes sidesplitting stories when he dropped his. Cleland would still have his arm and legs if he had cut and run.

In Colorado, Senior Billy Ritter Menendez, de la Vega was kicking around ideas on granting citizenship to illegals that would not make the majority of Americans lose their lunches. In the end, he failed and is now looking for illegals to help clean all the up chuck, at a livable and taxable wage of course. Pedro Billy Ritter Sanchez Vicente is also looking to turn Colorado into the Tennessee Valley Authority of broadband access, by first flooding the Gunnison canyon and than asking illegals to try and aim better when they urinate over the edge. Those that aim well will be given broadband access, as is their constitutional right.

Yes, it will be a close one, I hope that by giving equal treatment, and access to both parties McCain and Feingold will not try to have me arrested for breaking their precious free speech law. Therefore, in that spirit I would like to remind you all to go out there and defeat a Democrap.

Voting

2006-11-06T04:02:00.000-07:00

I realize that Election Day is tomorrow and I should probably be writing something about the candidates, the parties, or the dire predictions, but there is something more important to write about and that is our men and women in the military. Without these brave people, the election tomorrow would be either non-existent or meaningless. Many countries hold elections some even boast of 100% turnout as the voters trudge to the polls to vote for the candidate of the candidate’s choice, himself. It has been said that the US ranks around 130^th when percentages of the number of people voting is measured. . Since I know that there are not 130 countries with voting processes that are worth a damn, I look at that number with distain.

Saying our military fight for your right to vote would be disingenuous however, they really don’t. They also don’t fight for your right to say whatever you like even if what you say is ignorant. Saying these things is similar to saying you go to work to make money or because you want to feel fulfilled. Bull turds. You work because you need to provide for yourself or your family. They serve and fight to keep our country safe, the rest is up to you.

When young men 18 and 19 join the military, it is not always for the most noble of reasons and I think we all know this. Some feel they have little choice and that perhaps they will find their purpose in a very structured setting. Some join for the benefits of education and other incentives that the military offers recruits and we have all heard the whining of those who complain when they are deployed because they never signed up to fight in Iraq.

There are some who joined for the opportunities afterwards such as jobs that require military backgrounds or increase your political advantage by having service on your resume. Still others join to avoid jail time for some transgression they have committed and by doing so avoid a jail sentence. Oh and yes, many do join for the love of country out of patriotism, duty, honor and many others for a host of other reasons. It is not their reason for joining that I want to talk about today, it is the transformation that happens to all of them afterwards.

What many people fail to realize is these young men and women become part of something greater than themselves. The selfish, the bold, the shy ones, and the compassionate ones, the patriotic all change. In times of war such as we are now engaged in, these young men and women learn three things in no particular order other than my way of writing about them, so take no subliminal message away from the order.

They learn that this is the greatest country in the world and it is worth defending. You will not hear what a rotten country this is or how the world’s failings are the fault of the United States from the military command and structure. You will see many flags, many banners, many insignias, and polished metals. You will salute the flag and not spit on it or burn it and you will do it because it is right, not because some politician passed a law.

Additionally they learn that they are something more than they were. Whatever their motivation for entering the service they become stronger of body and will. They push themselves to excel and this is not to be the fastest on the obstacle course, or the best shooter, but to become leaders, wherever their paths lead them. They need not come out to become presidents or CEOs though many do, some may become little league coaches or small business owners or truck drivers. They come out with a purpose they never had when they entered, they come out to succeed.

Lastly, they learn that their fellow soldiers are their closest and dearest friends. These are people that they entrust their lives to and they hold their fellow military members in their hands. They do not have to think during battles if the man or woman next to them will protect them with their life, it is understood, it is instinctive as they will be for them. The bonds they forge last lifetimes whether they join veteran organizations such as the VFW or not.

When they lose one of their own, they have lost more than a friend, more than a family member; they have lost a piece of themselves. A piece they will never be able to replace and for some this is too hard a burden to bear but for others it makes them stronger, if not a little sadder. A limb lost is their limb, a life lost is their life, and it cannot be any other way.

Some will always point to those few that distain the military or strive to weaken it after having served such as our Massachusetts senator, but all I can say is that some character flaws are deeper than even the military can remove because not even god removed it from them. When you go to vote tomorrow remember these men and women, serve them, protect them because you know they will do the same for you without question, without hesitation without asking for your favors.

Fully Contemptible

2006-11-04T17:57:00.000-07:00

As the days leading up to the elections wane, my faith in the liberal media has been restored from slightly less than fully contemptible to fully contemptible and I would like to thank them for the effort involved. Never let it be said, that I don’t give credit where credit is due. During the preceding last six months or so, I have been greeted on almost a daily basis regarding the mutterings of North Korea. You know, wonderful and kind words such as Bush should engage the North in one on one talks, Clinton and Madeline Fat Dimbright were successful by talking, at least they were talking, Bush needs to go it alone, we are too bogged down in Iraq to deal with North Korea, we are scared of them because they have WMDs, they can hit Los Angles and Hawaii and oh so many other words of encouragement. Yes, thank you one and all you wonderful media whores.

I believe a few points need repeating regarding the media’s illicit love affair with the Howdy Doody of the north. For months we were pelted with complaints about how this administration was failing because Bush refused to talk directly with Kim du Illness and we could be risking a nuclear holocaust sure to advance the cause of GLOBAL WARMING (there it is important now because I capitalized it). Why, we better do something about North Korea; the hell with a coalition of the unwilling – they could be targeting San Francisco right now. Damn it Donald Rumsfeld, wasting all that money on a missile defend shield that doesn’t work per the expect Billy Bob Clinton. By god, maybe we should attack them and blow them up. Jimmy Peanut talked to them and even brokered a deal for Billy Bob Clinton, see what we can do when we have not lost the respect of the international community. Damn, we could even give them a brand new nuclear reaction, just talk to them. Maybe they won’t lie this time; it has to be worth a nuclear reactor to find out right Peanut for Brains.

Next thing we know Kim ima Tufutbandit was shooting missiles and they could reach America according to CNN’s disgraced general expert panel. Better duck Nancy Pelosi, your district is on their hit list and the black population centers that Bush don’t care about is too. So, Kim Kerry shoots off a few dangerous missiles and most of them fail or are blown up. The media immediately labeled this a success and cried about the sky falling. Build those bomb shelters in San Francisco under Candlestick Park and get the homeless some bombproof shopping carts, oh and send A&P the bill for them. Okay, now North Korea has advanced to around 1933 and can shoot off a bottle rocket or something. Target, they couldn’t target a Yugo that was sputtering off their own coast.

So later Kim Don Crapface explodes a nuclear bomb and the international community goes absolutely crazy. Where is Bush’s plan and don’t forget his exit strategy. Don’t you wish we had a real president like Clinton instead of a stupid, draft-dodging president like Bush? He won’t even talk to them; he is sticking to his failed policy of wanting the Russians, Japan, and China to do what he is afraid of doing. Where are all the Bush supporters now, now that we have a new member of the nuclear club? Why, we wouldn’t even confirm they exploded a nuclear device for days, how irresponsible. Where is the CIA that Clinton gutted, why didn’t they know he had a bomb. Let’s begin a congressional investigation. Why isn’t Bush doing something, because he is too distracted with Iraq?

Doesn’t it just make you so tired listening to this? Now that Bush’s strategy for dealing with the North Korean fruit basket has proved him right; AGAIN, the news media is silent. North Korea has agreed to come back to the bargaining table, it looks like the nuclear issue is under control for the moment, but does he get headlines saying Bush is Right. Story on page one. No, the contemptible news media has scurried under their rock to wait for the next event they can criticize Bush about. These genitalia of the liberal politicians should stick it up their butts and plug the hole with their experts.

Hobos

2006-11-04T02:07:00.000-07:00

Should the Democraps take control of the House and or Senate next week; this country is in for a whole lot of trouble with a big T. Charles the Hobo Rangel, the Manhattan Democrat is in line to take over as chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee, which drafts the government's general spending outlines - and says he'd use that position to cut off funding for the war.

"You've got to be able to pay for the war, don't you?” Rangel told The Hill, a newspaper that covers Congress.

Most excellent plan Charlie; I am in awe of your mental prowess, than what? Will you be so gracious to leave just enough money for the troops to get out or might that be money better spent on midnight basketball. When you are back home in the hood lying to your boys, what do you plan on doing when Iraq falls into the hands of terrorists? What are you plans once the terrorists figure out that they won and can now attack the US on our soil, specifically Manhattan?

If you go to each and every Democrap and try to find their plan for the war on terror, or what to do with Iraq, you get one of three answers. One, run like hell; two absolutely nothing; and three Bush really messed things up. How utterly novel, why did no one else think of this? God, and to think we haven’t put these prunes in power for a few years now. Their plan in a nutshell is to bottle up Bush, raise your taxes, and over regulate business. They have no plan; or as my grandfather would say niente.

A short while back, Congressman Charles Hobo Rangel reintroduced legislation to reinstate the military draft that will include draftees up to 42 years of age. "Every day that the military option is on the table, as declared by the President in his State of the Union address, in Iran, North Korea, and Syria, reinstatement of the military draft is an option that must also be considered, whether we like it or not," Congressman Hobo said in a statement.

Well at the time, smarter heads allowed his bill to come up for a vote. Everyone, yes everyone, voted against it except one turd dropping. It was not Charlie the Hobo, he voted against his own resolution. The gutless, loud mouth hobo from the hood likes to show off, but ran from his own legislation like the punk he is and yeah I know he served in the military way back when, he is still a fracking traitor.

Later he made the following statement, "Our military is more like a mercenary force than a citizen militia.” It is dominated by men and women who need an economic leg-up. Bonuses of up to $40,000 and a promise of college tuition look very good to someone from an economically depressed urban or rural community. But, as events unfold in Iran, Syria, and North Korea and become even more dangerous, at what point will the risks outweigh the attraction of money--even to the hungriest recruits?" Don’t know Charlie boy, perhaps as you continue raising taxes on your boys to pay for their welfare checks, you might supply us with that answer.

Isn’t it so nice that he considers our military a mercenary force? Why Charlie Hobo, do they sell their souls to the highest bidder like you? Perhaps you think this mercenary army will go to Zimbabwe and fight for your bosom buddy Robert Mugabe to help him seize more farms from whites. Won’t that be special Charlie boy?

Hobo Rangel and members of the Congressional Black Caucus (as opposed to the Congressional White Caucus you hear so much about) had complained that Blacks were being used as "cannon fodder" in the Iraq war. He and his buddy racists were confronted with the fact that only five percent (5%) of the troops in Iraq are African-Americans, while 14% of the US population is black. Rangel backed off from making that allegation when speaking with whites, yet he continues to use the canard when speaking to black audiences.

These are the kinds of dirt bags that gain power if the Democraps in. You hear about John le Traitor Kerry and Teddy the Swimmer, but it is hobos like Charlie boy that are pulling their strings. Do not let the party of the hobos come back into power. You think Kerry became very quiet because he is contrite.

Hey Colorado

2006-11-03T00:26:00.000-07:00

As I attempt to get back up to speed with my ramblings, I was thinking of some beautiful times, some beautiful people and so I would like to take a moment to share with you perhaps the most beautiful song ever written; yes, I am prejudice, as you will see. It holds some very special meaning for me as I listened to this the very first time up in Cripple Creek with the lady while sharing a beer. Perhaps I will tell you the tale, but not tonight, it is much too long.

The song was written by a member of the Flying Burrito Brothers and sung by them. If you haven’t heard it, I urge you to buy one of their albums with it on it, it may take a little looking, but you won’t be sorry. If I can ever find the recording, I will post it for you in the future, its buried around somewhere. So, god bless and good night. The song is called “Colorado.”

Hey Colorado - it was not so long ago
I left your mountain - to try life on the road
Now I'm finished with that race - it was much too fast a pace
And I think I know my place - Colorado I wanna come home

There was a woman - but I left her far behind
I could have loved her - if I only had the time
But I stopped along the way - just long enough to say
Lord I'd really really like to stay
But my lady knows I've got to go
I was too young to - know what I've done
I made my plans but I was wrong yes I was wrong

Hey Colorado - is it too late to change my mind
I've done some thinking and I'm trying hard to find
The way to come back home
Oh I've been so very long alone
Won't you take care of your own - Colorado I think I'm coming home

Trebuchets

2006-11-02T06:54:00.000-07:00

While engaged in my spare time hobby of building trebuchets that are more powerful I pondered the recent news media response to John the traitor Kerry’s recent remarks after he first defied everyone but than recanted in another example of flip-flopping. Now enough has been said about what he said and how he said it and what he really meant, so I don’t have to repeat ad nauseam this squirrel’s babblings. Before I go on, I am not one who believes John the lâche Kerry is a decorated war hero, so that leaves me free to debase and slander his name however I like. I put him into basically the same category as fact as Maximus Cleland (thankfully ex senator) who blew up half his body while screwing around with a grenade.

You see I still believe in the adage you cannot make a silk purse from a sow’s ear or in this case, from a sow’s anal cavity. He is what he is, so his rantings and babbling do not excite me as shocking mes amis. This was not the first, nor will it be the last morceau de turd to roll off his tongue. I want to discuss, in a meaningful way of course, the reaction from the news outlets and pundits across the country.

To a station and a paper, they all sought to find a way to parse his words into something they were clearly not. “He was talking about Bush,” “It was a bad joke,” “he is a war hero and would never…,” etc., etc. Now by and large most other democrats remained stunned in disbelief that this sac d'écume broke their secret handshake and blurted out what they all believe two weeks before Election Day. They with their compatriots in the news media had been desperately trying to sound rational leading up to their latest attempt to screw up the country.

The front pages and lead stories have quickly vanished which is an odd contrast with their handling of the trumped up charges against Tom Delay and others. Charges of bad behavior, alleged bad beharior and occasional missteps by conservatives seem positively glued to the front page for at least a month or two and even afterward when the case is disposed or someone resigns, they continue to harp on the story. Mr. John the le mensonge sucent le visage Kerry has already slipped in between the crossword puzzle and the garage sales for the weekend.

Realizing that this could be a distraction to their stealh attack on your way of life, even Hillary “I have no idea how my billing records with my fingerprints got outside my bedroom” Clinton suggested that John the batteur d'épouse Kerry should apologize. Now, what I believe you are seeing is the beginning of the end. I predict that the Democratic Party will soon begin to splinter into at least two pieces if not more.

You will have something called the Democratic Party, which will consist of people like Joe Lieberman, Hillary Clinton and something I will call the Raving Lunatics Party consisting of people like John the déracineurs des pierres tombales Kerry, Howie the screamer Dean, Chucky Cheese Shummer, the Swimmer and Charlie the hobo noir Rangel. It is coming, just let them lose in a few days and again in 2008.

Ten Commandments - Take 2

2006-11-01T13:49:00.000-07:00

I have decided to have a back up site because of the on-going crap occurring on 360. It seems that four individuals I know have lost their names, blogs or complete sites due to the failure of Yahoo to prosecute idiots. Idiots who flag questions and answers as violation simply because they don't like the answer, it uses sarcasm and humor. I have written to yahoo and given them the names of several of these individuals and asked that they block their IP addresses permanently. Will they? I don't have a lot of confidence.

I have included links to all friends on this site, so getting back to either your site of a friend of mind is relatively easy. This site has a few features that 360 doesn't have, how long is a Beta release anyway, so it will look and feel a little different. I will continue to post to both sites just in case the morons strike again. You can either put this site address in your Blogroll or RSS feed and get to link to it if need be or if you prefer leaving comments here. I do check both sites. It may take me a little while to get this one full syncronized with the other, but I will do that in all the spare time I have which amounts to almost 6 1/2 minutes a day.

In the mean time, I have posted two versions of the ten commandments. The original and the liberalized version.

I am the Lord thy god, who brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.

2. Thou shalt have no other gods before Me.

3. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.

4. Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy.

5. Honor thy father and thy mother.

6. Thou shalt not murder.

7. Thou shalt not commit adultery

8. Thou shalt not steal.

9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.

10. Thou shalt not covet anything that belongs to thy neighbor.

You are way too offensive even having commandments or suggestions in the first place. However if you really must have them, they should be called the tenets of Kumbyah so that people and animals could take them or leave them depending how they felt that day. They need to rewritten in their entirety.

We are around, you shouldn't feel any need to care what I did for you or what my motives were, and I'm sorry I sent you where others lived without asking them first.
Its okay to have other gods because really what is a god? Feel good, love your iPod, your dirt infest shack, your good times, that is unless someone threatens to kill you if you don't follow their god.
It's okay to curse occasionally and use my name unless you are using the name of my alter ego Allah in which case I'm going to get really upset.
Go shopping everyday, get all the latest stuff before they run out those unthinking clouts.
If your parents are of the same gender rejoice because they show the way, if they are not than show them disrespect and shout out your child bill of rights
Don't hurt anyone unless the man is oppressing you or he gets in the way of your riot, comes into your hood or you need some extra virgins.
Don't leave photos and videos around of you dalliances with children whether they consent or not and if your neighbor's spouse or domestic partner wants some, well who am I to say no.
When you riot, make sure you take everything that isn't tied down; it's your right especially if the previous owner was Korean, a cracker or you think you can pawn it for some stuff.
Lying is okay, hey everyone does it, so don't feel bad, and if you have the misfortune to run into a conservatives, lie your head off often and loud too.
Take, take, and take without hesitation. He who dies with the most toys wins anyway, so get a leg up.